Build -THE EGO- Destroy
I’ve had Knowledge of Self (or 120 Lessons) for alittle over a decade and I’ve grown with this as this has definitely grown with me. One of the things that has helped my truly grow and develop as a man is “Checking my Ego”! Coming into the Knowledge of your own God-centeredness can really give you overzealous ideas of grandeur. I remember the times I was always “saying” the Blackman is God, outta context like a muthafucka’! It was an EGO thing. I remember building until nigga’s would pass the fuck out! Man, the EGO is something else and if not put in it’s proper place you become like a time bomb, waiting to blow yourself up and everything around you. Yacub didn’t necessarily have a Big Head literally! Yacub had a Big Ass EGO, and he had that shit down to a Science! Because of that (among other things) he’s credited with being the Father of the Devil and it’s definitely a lesson to be learned from that! Let me elaborate.. .
Anyway, the reason I come off so cynical, controversial and practically down to Earth is because through maturity I’ve learned to check my EGO. I’ve done this systematically (through Shamanistic techniques used to de-structure the EGO) and when I had to deal with life on life’s terms! I’m not saying that those who don’t come off like I do don’t have their EGO in check, I’m just saying that this is the way that I express it. My unique experiences have forged my identity and I’m grateful that I’ve kept two feet on the ground in the process! Identifying yourself as The Creator can become a form of Intellectual Masturbation (of which I’ve done quite a bit!!) and this self stimulation can always be ascribed to an unchecked EGO!
Now, for those of you who are not active members of the NGE (Nation of Gods and Earths). Don’t think that you have the right to regurgitate what I say as if it’s “the way it is” in regards to my Nation. I have the right to say what I say because I am a qualified “said person of that ability”. I am on the inside often speaking about what’s going on in “different places” in the inside. There is always another perspective or side to the story, this is just my perspective. There are many so-called God’s that are strait up asshole’s, niggas that be on some shit and using the name of God to shield they dirty ass ways and actions. There are also many true & living Gods who actually live principled lives and are exemplary in their expression of this Culture! There are also bitches wit they heads wrapped-up saying they the Earth but be really just taking advantage of brothers who look at them as Queen’s. You also got true Queens who are truthful and sincere, who modestly bring out the best in themselves and their family!
Sometimes I take the more “controversial” perspective because our people (NGE) don’t always speak on these things openly. I actually see it as not only therapeutic but also as a breath of fresh air. Part of my duty as a Civilized person is to help people see that just because I’m God-centered doesn’t mean that I ain’t got problems! Shit, the only difference is that I use mathematical formulas to solve my problems. My Articles are plain, digestible and never above the people’s head! At the end of the day I want people to be comfortable enough to be amongst me as they are, not feeling like I’m the muthafuckin’ Thought Police or that I’m judging them like they being weighed on the Scales of Maat! I mean sometimes we as “God” can really come off real anal like that! I try to destroy this idol, icon or archetypical model of The Creator every chance I get!
Why do I take this approach? I’ve learned from experience not to build myself up or allow people to build me up because it often opens up the opportunity to establish false expectations of who I am, especially when people are coming from a Mythological Perspective of what God is. People will begin to expect you not to enjoy sex, not take a shit, play Xbox 360 or work in a factory! I personally don’t get a hard-on if people look at me all starry eyed, the shit actually turns me off and I use “Normalcy” as a method of humbling myself so that others don’t have to humble me. Hey, my Ole’ Earth was a Psychologist so there are many cognitive tactics I’ve learned that has given me the flexibility to functionally exist in this Society without falling victim to it! Because of it I also see a lot of tools that people are missing in their tool chest.
As I mentioned earlier, when I was going through my Shaman Apprenticeship I used systemized techniques to de-structure the EGO. Basically this means “learning to fall on your face” to accustom yourself to the EGO shattering falls we go through in life or when people try to trip you! The idea is to use these techniques as a sober entrance into the unknown to minimize and psychologically prepare yourself for situations when your catapulted into the unknown. Some of the techniques I used were; living homeless (both willingly & unwillingly), playing Mute for 3 months on a job until I left, playing deaf for a year on a College Campus, having my daughters push me around in a wheelchair at the mall, wearing only all black for a year, eating 1 meal every other day for 3 months, and never showing my hair for 1 ½ years. In Shamanism these EGO de-structuring techniques are used as a method called “Stalking”. Stalking can be interpreted in the context of “The prey stalking the predator”. Hunting is a system of stalking the routines of potential prey, but in the process, the Hunter him/herself is establishing their own routines. It’s like a proud Hunter waiting in the bush for the Jaguar to appear at the waterhole while the Jaguar sits quietly crouched in the tree above him! A good analogy of this is the movie “Predator”. Shamans say that these psychologically elusive EGO de-structuring techniques allows one to shapeshift into a Mystical Animal. Mystical Animals are classified as animals undetected by the naked eye such as unicorns, dragons, griffins or any other types of animals who have “untraceable routines”, too elusive for any hunter to trap! The key phrase is “untraceable routines too elusive for any hunter to trap”!
Through the use of certain EGO de-structuring techniques, a person strengthens themselves to become almost infallible to the mind games, button pushing, and bullshit that people often try to “trap” you up in! Traps that are always based upon your “routines” they observed! Now stop for a second and think about this, some of the things we do and hold fast to are actuality just EGO-centered forms of the predatory vulnerability, that’s why a person can “routinely” fuck with you! Pay attention to those around you! If some people get the impression that you are zealously serious about your “Attribute” they will deliberately and consistently but so-called mistakenly call you Johnny or Michele! If you walking around like you got a “DON’T EAT PORK” shirt on, people will make you a chittlin’ pie for your birthday! I knew a Wiz that I got a good paying job at the Casino but she didn’t know how to talk to white people. She was always agitated and these muthafucka’s knew it too. Needless to say, she didn’t last a year there. There was an incident where she blew up on this white girl, walked off the job and didn’t come back. This was two years ago and she still hasn’t bounced back financially, which consequently means supporting her three children! I showed her the tools but she didn’t want to use them (9th Degree/1-40’s) so these Devils set it up to look like a case of Self Sabotage! That’s the type of predatory vulnerability I’m talking about!
I say all this to say what? The EGO can be a tool that allows us to Build or it can be turned into a weapon that Destroys us! Along my path I have gone through the systematic process of putting my EGO in check. I’ve tried to laugh at myself before I’ve given people the privilege of doing so. I’ve embarrassed myself before people can embarrass me, and I’ve pushed my own buttons before someone had the pleasure of pushing them for me! Now don’t get me wrong, this hasn’t always been the case. I’ve learned a lot of these things through direct experience (bumps & bruises!) and I’m not where I would like to be yet! There’s still things that really pisses me off and I’m sure you can tell by my Articles, b.u.t. I’m working through it. It’s a Journey not a destination.