Thirteen and Good
Tell us what are the exact Years, Months and Days that you’ve had 120?
13 years, 156 Months and 4,745 Days to the date of this writing.
Peace Ya'll! Every year I acknowledge -not necessarily celebrate- three different Born Days. So in all actuality I’m 33, 9 and 13, all at the same time. Physically, I’m a 33 year old Capricornian Scorpio with an Aquarius Ascendant, and I’m 9 in a sense because on April 23rd, 1999, I legally changed my name to Saladin Quanaah’ Allah. Today I acknowledge my 13th Born Day, my Manifestation Day; the day I touched down on Pluto and finished knowleding 120 Lessons in 1995. In the simplest of terms, all this means is that I’ve had 120 Lessons ‘in my head’ (memorized) for thirteen years now. As far as applying these Lessons...., well at thirteen I just entered Middle School in this Math, started growing pubic hair, getting zips on my face, and seriously defining “What is his -my- ownself?” (13/1-36) in the midst of my Godly/Earthly Peers. All in all, I’m Officially a Teenager in this Culture and just like any Teenager, there’s a whole new terrain and world of unknowns associated with my -Cultural- Maturation. Huh? How do I feel? Shiiiit, I feel like a “Master” (13/Supreme Alphabet). A Master of my own ideas, inclinations, aspirations, and hang-up’s. I Know (1) and Understand (3) myself better than I ever have, and this substantive self evaluation defines the richness of how/why I express my Culture (4) this way. -smiling Ego-
Over these 13 years, one thing I can say is that I’ve become more humble in the way I carry this Math. More cynical, b.u.t. definitely more humble. Shiiiiit, situations can shatter ya EGO like glass and humble you “at a terrific speed” (8/1-40); especially when you’re calling yourself the True and Living God or Earth. Being Homeless, Unemployed, getting Locked up, being in a Dysfunctional Relationship, etc. can feel like the fight between Superman and Doomsday! -wipes brow- That’s how it feels going through shit with a “Striving for Perfectionist” attitude. LOL! In my adolescent years of learning this Culture it was all about Man is God. Now I’ve begun to realize that God is simply Man. -shrugs- And yes, these are two veeeeeery different things. Within these 13 years of using 120, I can truly say that I’ve grown in the same way that any Christian, Muslim, Trekkie, Hebrew, Wiccan, Rasta, Scientologist, Buddhist, Prepaid Legalist, etc. grows who has taken the time to learn and apply the Principles they subscribe to! No biggie.
As a matter of fact. here’s 9 things that actually comes to Mind when I think over the last 13 years I’ve had 120:
1. You develop an even greater appreciation for your Enlightener and being an Enlightener yourself. To me there is not a more Noble Profession because it encompasses damn near all Professions, depending upon the Curriculum you design for your Student and the Terrain you traverse while you walk together. You can find yourself being a Psychologist, Parent, Companion, Intuitive Counselor, Manager, Auto Mechanic, Nutritionist, Customer Service Rep, Sports Agent, Paralegal, Parole Officer, Tutor, Promoter, Intervention Specialist, Fashion Consultant, Accountant, Taxi Driver, Doctor, etc. to a Newborn (Student). Mind you, this has nothing to do with a Salary or a Prize at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks; this is true unconditional love that the Human Family needs alot more of. As crazy as my Enlightener ‘Sha’ was -and is-, he invested his life in my life, and the only way to show my gratitude is to invest the same love, patience, and dedication in the lives of other people!
2. Lessons have become less Intellectual and more Intuitive; less Mechanical and more Organic. For example, instead of me reciting an entire Degree -although I obviously still do it; especially for Newborns- I naturally extract a phrase or word I want to build about; I instinctively go strait to the phrase or word. Cee, I’ve felt the “hard time” (2/1-14) beads of sweat on the forehead of Musa, welled up with the tears of joy of having a “Brother and Companion in tribulation and in the Kingdom of patience” (27/1-40), and worried all night about “trying to reform him -or her” (34/1-40) prior to ceeing them “sting somebody else” (10/1-14)! I no longer recite 120 Lessons, I’ve learned to eat, sleep, and breath them through practically applying them in my Life. I look forward to walking with this Math in the future because I’m only getting better with time! -smile-
3. Although I’m no longer in the process of learning to memorize (recite) my Degrees I have never lost “The Fire of a Newborn”; many people do! The Fire of a Newborn is that burning desire to learn and tenacity in which one approaches knowledge! I used to spend hours in the library with my Enlightener studying and 13 years later I still spend hours in the library! I still study hard and do forensic research on whatever subject I’m studying. However, in my maturity I’ve learned to not spread myself too thin, take my time and eat what’s on my plate; the Alchemist Laboratory in my head is alot tidier! LOL! When I was younger I was more into the recital -usually fast- of my Lessons, b.u.t. now I’m more into speaking my Lessons slow, deliberate and poignantly. I’ve discovered that by taking my time, I came across jewels I completely missed when I rushed. Ironically, I had this brief epiphany -some years ago- on a Wizs bedroom floor. -grin-
4. I no longer have a compulsive feeling like everybody NEEDS TO KNOW this Culture. It took me a long time to respect that people have a choice; Right or Wrong, and I can’t trespass against them. I realized how -although I may have had the most righteous intents- I ended up being an obstruction to a person’s “own” Understanding. It’s funny because Students always mistake what appears to be aloofness and cold indifference as an “I don’t give a fuck what you do” attitude when I’m ultimately respecting their ability to choose. LOL! -shakes head- This is a very fragile moment in the Student/Enlightener relationship because at this point the Student either grows to Love you for respecting their Right to choose, or hate you because they believe you’re taking them through -or letting them go through- Hell. I’ve been on both sides of this and there’s nothing you can do about it. As an Enlightener you simply have to do you’re duty as a Civilized Person and those who learn will learn, those who won’t don’t. In 13 years I’ve ceen many people come, many people go and many people stay committed to learning/applying these Cultural Principles. Because of these experiences, I’ve grown to read a person’s “determined idea” (24/1-40) like a book, and simply watch them “qualify or disqualify” (28/1-40) themselves when is comes to learning 120.
5. I’m sure people on the outside sometimes look at me like, “Woooow, you know all those Lessons after all these years?! Woooow!”, b.u.t. having 120 for such a short period of time is not such a big deal to me. I mean..., I use it. -shrugs- I cee it like anything you learn that you don’t forget; like riding a bike, writing, tying ya sneakers, etc. . There’s many things people have chosen to memorize that they use every day! I just chose to memorize and use 120, along with other things.
6. Now I know -without a doubt- why The Father focused on the Youth. Hey..., Musa didn’t come to civilize a hillside herd of feral children. These savages were a bunch of fuckin grown-ups and the caves were various vaginal condoms! Elijah said Musa put some of these bastards on a Mountaintop and blew ‘em the fuck up! Malcolm called ‘em “stiffnecked” (dick heads), The Father smoked a joint, rolled some dice and said, “Fuck ‘em!”, and Khan pan seared their self importance when he looked down and stripped ‘em of they Titles; reforming The NOI into ‘The Nudists of Islam’. Cee, The Father focused on the Youth because they don’t have the same fears, hang-up’s and social conditionings (AKA: bullshit) as Adults. Although I’ve been walking with and teaching this Math for 13 years, it never fails that prideful Adults come along and try to tell me -or suggest- how they need to be taught, as if they actually know. LMAO! In one of Castaneda’s Books, Don Juan would tie his Students to a post in the yard like a dog and simply watch how long it took them to get untied or if he had to eventually untie them. Some would whine to be untied, some would become violent, some became hateful, others would exhaust themselves trying to break the rope, etc.. Ultimately, from this ‘Ego-shattering’ technique, Don Juan learned something very, very important about his Students temperament; thus allowing him to fashion the proper curriculum to teach them, if they could be taught. I mention this because as Adults, the Ego is well defined and it takes alot more courage, confidence, sincerity, trust and commitment to study 120 -or learn anything new for that matter. Why? Because many Adults are still dealing with the mental, emotional and physical trauma that comes along with the natural vulnerabilities, insecurities and risks of life. On a practical level, Adults also have alot more things going on in their life; things or responsibilities that must ultimately be revamped/reprioritized as they learn the transformative Properties/Principles in 120. It’s a huge task for many Adults to change a diet they’ve had for 35 years, stop a 20 year habit they still love to do, or change their relationships by redefining “family” and “friend”. I was building with Sha this morning about this subject and compared tackling 120 to doing a backflip! A Child has no fuckin problem doing a backflip b.u.t. it’s those Adults who’re afraid they’re going to break their neck and die. Although the Child may be recklessly naive, the Adult turns a legitimate concern about safety into “a prison house” (29/1-40) of fear. With a Child you simply have to instruct them on how to go about doing backflips without hurting themselves and other people. With Adults, you continually need to talk them through their fears; about how they’re not going to hurt themselves, how you’re there to help and won’t let them break their neck, blah, blah while they stand there afraid to do a flip. The Father wisely chose to work with the Youth because they were already flippin; flippin at School, Home, in the Streets and everywhere else with no problem. He recognized the mental dexterity of these natural gymnasts and helped forge them into titian-like Cultural Olympians. This is not to say that when people reach a certain age it’s impossible for them to get it (120); I’ve personally ceen it happen! Adults just have alot more psychological, physical and socioeconomic adjustments to make; legitimate and illegitimate, and many of them find it too difficult to learn 120 under these ‘Ego-shattering’ conditions. So instead of learning to do a flip, Adults usually -b.u.t. not always- flip the fuck out.
7. As far as relationships are concerned..., well that’s always a work in progress. -smile- What I will say on this subject is that I have less unrealistic expectations about Women who “say” they want to learn this Culture. I also have more realistic expectations about how this Culture Traditionally and Contemporarily defines/relates to Women and their relationship to Men. It took me “12” (L: Love, Hell or Right) years to draw up the phrase, “Because the Earth ‘belongs to’ the Original Man” (1/1-14)! It never occurred to me that ‘belongs to’ also means ‘a part of’; as in, “being ‘a part of’ (belonging to) something”. -shakes head- So essentially, that phrase can be translated to mean, “Because the Earth is ‘a part of’ the Original Man.” This is completely different than denoting possession and a God simply drawing this phrase up to mean, “The Earth is mine!” Neither perspective is Right or Wrong; it ultimately depends upon what the situation demands and Wisdom is our ability to discern this. Sometimes I’ve been Wise and other times a damn Fool! LOL! Ultimately, I’m just showing you how the way someone interprets something defines their psychological orientation; how they undoubtedly cee themselves and deal with other people. This is especially important when it comes to a Companionship; which many of us have learned the hard way!
8. Unlike many Gods/Earths who simply say “they’re elevating” I actually elevate each and every day. There is not one day that goes by that I haven’t deliberately learned something new to help me become a more positive asset to myself, Family, Community and Society as a whole. As I’ve gotten older in this Math, I’ve learned to be more appreciative of these days and conscious of the little things I used to take for granted; meditating on my mortality and unavoidable appointment with Death. Because of my sense of the moment -and that now is the only time that exists- I’m able to perform even the most trivial of tasks with a flair of impeccability!
9. Building with Students (Newborns) is alot different now! When I first heard my Enlightener recite the 1st Degree in Student Enrollment (1-10), “Who is the Original Man?” IT WAS ELECTRIFYING! As I aged in this Culture I forgot the power of hearing that Degree as a Newborn. So when people came to me to learn 120, I took for granted the impact and power of hearing this knowledge for the first time! By taking this for granted, I assumed that these Newborns were on the same page as me emotionally. Here I was whistling Al Jarreau as I effortlessly scaled a mountainous Concept like, “Who is the Original Man?” while Newborns stood at the bottom intimidated; staring up at my mountain goat agility and wondering if they’ll ever be able to summit 120! I’ve grown to be more emotionally conscious of who I’m building with. This means that now I’m a lot more patient with people who’re interested in learning this Culture; realizing that it may take a couple years of emotional prep-work and simply getting to know this person before they’re even prepared to Enroll as a Student.
So in conclusion, I would like to give a shout out to my Enlightener ‘Sha’ for taking the time to build with me! I’m proud and appreciative to be able to say that a thorough God brought me into the knowledge of myself. He knew what was correct and took the time to insure that I got this Math the correct way. There are many Gods/Earths I’ve met who didn’t have the benefit of a swift Enlightener like ‘Sha’. Anyway, you know what? I just had a change of heart; this evening I’m gonna celebrate! I’m gonna enjoy going through 120 as I sip on some ‘Stones’ Ginger Wine, listen to some good music and build with a few people! -smile-