Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Peace Ya’ll! With the cold approaching, one’s Mind is forced to consider warmth and in considering warmth you ultimately start thinking about ‘Relationships’; either the one you have, the one you don’t have or the one you wish you had. Anyway, as we get ready to enter America’s most celebrated Family Holiday Season (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years), here are some of my Thoughts on ‘Relationships’:
My Young Earth ‘Asiyah’
During the Summer I noticed a slight change in my Queen’s behavior and our relationship; she proactively showed me alot more affection and was alot more articulate in how “she cee’s” things. That was different for me because she’s usually alot more reserved. Anyway, Queen Asiyah had her first Menstrual (Moon) Cycle on Sept. 15th, 2008, so this explained the changes she was already going through. Asiyah just turned knowledge understanding on 10/10 (Our Nation Born Day!) yet it seems like it was yesterday that I was changing her dirty diapers. -gazing off smiling- We are definitely in a different place in our relationship now and Asiyah has begun to really assert her “own self” (13/1-36). I built with some Women in my Family and a few other Women about this experience and they were all very insightful. One thing that has been brought to Mind is the fact that this moment in Asiyah’s growth and development has gone and went without much celebration or acknowledgement outside of me. This -I’m sure- is a very significant, landmark experience in her journey into Womanhood and I would have loved to have had some kinda Rite to acknowledge this; I definitely will for my youngest Queen Aziza. The problem is that their Mother moved close to Power Hill a few years back and our relationship -me and my Queens- have gone through alot of changes since this time; all for the greater good -as I sometimes remind myself. Anyway, Asiyah began her Moon Cycle on the knowledge power day of September while she was in School; her Mother emailed me about it. When I had a chance to build with Asiyah about it she nonchalantly shrugged it off like it wasn’t nothing. -?- She said she found out when she went to the bathroom so she just used a whole bunch of toilet paper like a pad until she got outta School and told her Mother when she got home. Her Moon Cycle lasted for 5 days and she said she didn’t feel any of the cramps I heard Women talk about. My Sister ‘Aziza’ (whom my youngest Queen is named after) laughed and said how mature Asiyah is for her age! Aziza said when her Moon Cycle started she was all down in the Nurses Office acting a fuckin fool! LMAO! If ever I had to deal with the unknown, this is definitely it; my eyes are wide open and I’m learning as I go. I started by sending Asiyah a couple boxes of Herbal Tea designed to help comfort Women during their Moon Cycle. I am, without a doubt, a Newborn in this and I approach this experience with the same sense of sobriety, humbleness and willingness to learn when I knowledged 120; Asiyah is now my Enlightener! -smile-
When it comes to a Woman, I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that the chauvinistic, misogynistic, gender oppressive infrastructure of America has forced Women to adopt -what Sha calls- a BPC (Beauty Pageant Complex), Obsessive Compulsive Behavior about achieving and competing with their male counterparts, and Anxiety Stress about Motherhood, Marriage and Security; general characteristics that have distorted her concept of Love and Relationships. My Sister Aziza (whom my Young Queen is named after) shrugged her shoulders and humorously told me that Feminism is a response to this Social Construct and is nothing more than “a pussy with sharp teeth” LOL! As Men -Original Men in particular- we’ve been guilty of co-signing this Patriarchal Status Quo, oftentimes with no idea that we’re doing it! I consistently check myself about this and my first real introduction to this way of thinking is when I had my first Queen; Asiyah. Being the best Father I can be to her and Aziza hinges upon my ability to be conscious of their struggles not just as my daughters b.u.t. as females and as Women. Because of this, I’ve grown in ways that many Men have not and I owe a great deal of that to my Queens, and of course the Women who’ve I gotten to know. When we say that the Woman represents ‘Equality’ or 6, I cee it simply as it is; Equal. Equality has two words in it, Equal and Quality which essentially means ‘Same Nature’. Ultimately, Man and Woman are Equal in a sense that we have the same essential nature and unrestricted access to it; Cosmic Consciousness, Universal Intelligence, The Black Mind. What this functionally translates into is that I don’t have some -not all- of the same attitudes, concerns, and hang-ups males -and Men- have about Women and relationships in general. Here’s a few of the Main Attitudes, Concerns and Hang-up’s a cee Men having that compromises our ability to have and maintain successful Relationships:
Attitudes: Possessiveness. Men who objectify Women as “Theirs” are running them into the arms of another Man -and sometimes another Woman-, regardless if they’re Married or not! Although some Women have taken on the attitude of being an object themselves, life itself shows her through experiences that she’s much more than that. When she goes through these situations and comes to you for clarity b.u.t. you’re still in “objectify” mode, she’ll find someone who can relate. Unfortunately for you, she probably won’t be crying on the shoulder of that “gay guy” you discouraged her from befriending. LOL!
Concerns: Role. Men that are so concerned about micro-managing what a Woman needs to be doing overlook what their own role is in the relationship; there’s a double standard here that doesn’t support or encourage Equality. In the process, you make a situation where a Woman will eventually be dissatisfied, unhealthy and unfulfilled; she can’t fuckin breathe Dude!
Hang-ups: I am the Man; EGO. I said it before and I’ll say it again: EGO Edges God Out every time! Males who feel the need to continuously assert themselves as “The Man”, have a deep rooted insecurity that a Woman can’t find security in, even if she wanted to! The results of this is the same as Attitudes and Concerns; in time she’ll find the strength to leave or do some shit to make you leave!
In saying all of this, I’ve learned the importance of recognizing and analyzing the extent to which this Social Construct has effected my views on Relationships, how I view myself and how Women have been taught to view themselves.
Emotional Batches of Ice Cream
For years, I’ve been writing to Brothers locked up and have known Women who hold these Brothers down. The other day I was thinking about a section in the Mathemanual ‘Da God’ when Be God Allah was building about relationships while being in the Injustice (AKA: Prison House); Men locked up pouring their hearts out to Women who in turn use them as an idealistic security blanket. I call this exchange ‘Emotional batches of Ice Cream’. I got a Blood Brother locked up in Attica as we speak, numerous Brothers/God Brothers around the Country -who write me every week- and know Women who have relationships with Men that are locked up, so I peep game. I’ve often asked myself, what’s the difference between moral support and mutual manipulation? I’ve ceen moral support and I’ve ceen mutual manipulation. The relationships that function as ‘Emotional batches of Ice Cream’ are veiled as moral support b.u.t. actually function as mutual manipulation. Based upon mutual “Insecurities”, these ‘Emotional batches of Ice Cream’ consists of these empty calorie ingredients; a Man who secures a relationship with a Woman from a Secured Facility and a Woman seeking security in a Man who’s in a secured location 24/7, 365 days a year. Aside from the Ego strokes and Autoeroticism this relationship encourages and maintains for them, it’s the ultimate Religious experience; I’ve found that people who experience these relationships consciously/unconsciously build shrines to eachother using objects -they exchange- in order to consummate this symbolic Marriage in the Mind. All of these things are not bad within themselves. The dilemma exists when this kind of love, commitment, loyalty and respect for eachother is “built in a prison house” (29/1-40). Cee, “Yacub didn’t build prison houses for his people” (29/1-40) because he understood that it would undermine his ability to be successful in all his undertakings. Now if Yacub knew “a prison house” would fuck up his ability to make a Devil, you know it had to be fucked up! LMAO! Anyway, a prison house limits freedom of expression and immobilizes a person; Mentally, Emotionally and Physically. This immobility is present in the Man locked up and the Woman on the outside; both of them are limited in their ability to functionally express who and what they actually are. Therein lies the false sense of comfort in such a relationship; they can and will be what the other person wants them to be IN EACHOTHERS MIND. The problem with this is not just the fact that it’s idealistically unreal, b.u.t. it allows people to get away with being only a half a person, and being a part time person is alot easier for many people; especially those with emotional issues. Yacub had sense enough to not build prison houses because he wanted to cee the full dimensions of the people he was dealing with (Yacubs first rule was TO SEE...” 28/1-40). ‘Cub knew that the manufacturing process hinged upon making an accurate assessment of the personal and people product he was going to use. Why? To be “successful in his under-takings” (29/1-40). Again, those of us -Men & Woman- who are cultivating these types of “prison house” relationships must honestly analyze our own psychology and ask ourselves the question, “Is our relationship moral support or mutual manipulation?” By taking inventory of our habits/actions, we can determine if this relationship is in fact a “comfort food” (something/someone we ritualistically turn to when we’re mildly/severely depressed). If we do determine that it is an ‘Emotional batch of Ice Cream’, we must then recognize that this is never a healthy thing psychologically, physically, socially or financially; even if we’re calling it Tofutti. -smile- Ultimately, it’s all about learning something about our own emotional framework and hopefully -and often painfully- coming to terms with why we choose to do what we do! Knowing (1) and Understanding (3) this emotional framework is the essence of self Mastery (M/Supreme Alphabet), the path towards discovering/defining “what is his -or her- ownself” (13/1-36), and the reality of Culture Freedom (4).
L.o.v.e. (Learning Or Validating Emotions)
Anything that falls eventually hits the ground, and this includes Love. When it comes to Love, “Are we actually learning or simply validating bullshit emotions?” I hear people talk about “Unconditional” Love all the time and I’m not sure what that means either. Huh, maybe people make Emerald City statements like that cuz it sounds and looks good. -shrugs- Well back here in Kansas, as soon as a Man or Woman is stuck in the middle of an Ego shattering experience that questions their self importance, those “Unconditional” ideals about Love go right out the fuckin window. LOL! We all have ‘moments of indiscretion’ -as white folks put it- b.u.t if a person is consistently disloyal to their own ideals, what makes you think they’ll ever be loyal to yours! -shakes head- People need to realize that we live in “a Wilderness of North America” (3/1-10). The fact that it is a Wilderness means that shit will get wild as soon as you crack open your front door, and this “Wilderness” comprises the bulk of our experiences and social interactions; unless we’re living confined to a house and get Meals on Wheels. In reality, very little time is spent in the nice little “Jerusalem-like” safe haven we wanna call a relationship -Home- (5/1-14). Because of this reality, I’ve grown to realize that I can only truly Love a Woman who Loves me in a Wilderness. DON’T MISUNDERSTAND ME, I love the Jerusalemian dialogue, coddling, cuddling, intimacy, etc... that are vital components of any relationship “founded in Peace” (5/1-14), b.u.t. just like the geographic place called Jerusalem, I never loose sight of what ultimately surrounds and gives context to this place; civil unrest, social instability, political tension, economic hardships, moral decay, etc..! In this context, to view a relationship as a Jerusalem-like safe haven or fall-out shelter is not the appropriate approach to take -in the midst of a Wilderness; HOW LONG CAN IT LAST? If anything, your Jerusalem -relationship- should be “a Training Unit” (14/1-14) used to proactively assess, define and deal with the unavoidable “trouble amongst the righteous people” (4/1-14) that will compromise this structures integrity! Without this Stratagem, a relationship is nothing b.u.t a sacrificial lamb awaiting it’s slaughter. YES, Jerusalem once served as one of many Central Asian safe havens for the Original Man and Woman b.u.t. only from Earths ‘Natural’ Elements! This was waaaaaaay before the manufacturing of the Devil. For those of you who have studied the “making of the Devil” (30/1-40), the Maccabees, the History of ‘Saladin’ and the Crusades, and the founding of the State of Israel recognize this fact. Jerusalem hasn’t been a safe haven in a very long time; especially in today’s era were people openly desecrate Houses of Worship, destroy Religious/Cultural Iconography and annihilate Men, Women and Children who live righteously on this land! Cee, it’s easy to Love in a Lovely place; I’m not concerned about that! I wanna be Loved when things aren’t Lovely. To me it’s all about the inner dynamics of “Preserving” (1/1-14) and Perpetuating Love, not just obtaining it! If a relationship doesn’t essentially advocate a Religion or Culture “for one common cause” (8/1-14) that will serve as Love’s Value System, Moral Compass, Intellectual/Intuitive ADT Security System, Quality Control Mechanism and Preventative Maintenance Tool, the Love you think you have CANNOT BE SUSTAINED! So through all the disloyalty, flakiness, inconsideration, insincerity and outright bullshit I’ve experienced with Wizs, I still cee light at the end of the tunnel. How? Because it’s the Moon. -smile- One of the most important keys to bringing forth the proper Understanding in a relationship is to approach it as a Journey of constant elevation, not a destination that plateaus on a Mountain called Marriage.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
-A Message from ya Sponser-Peace Ya’ll! The Autumn is here once again and I usually take a moment to address different topics that have been on my Third; “some layers of currents real cold and warm, others very swift and changeable.” (8/1-40) The above picture is of a recent haircut I got. What does this got to do with the sale of tea in China? Absolutely nothing; sorry Pseudoscientists. Anyway, I’m pretty proud of it! -BIG grin- Hey, it’s a big step for me, I haven’t had a fade in about 18 years!! LOL! Well, here are a few things I’ve been building about lately:
A Sketch of Tranquility ‘Blog Opera’
This shit is like online crack and if there were Bloggefeller Drug Laws 'EM would get hit wit "no ending" (9/1-10)! ‘A Sketch of Tranquility’ is Authored by EMBLEM, and is the FIRST EVER Five Percenter/Nation of Gods and Earths orientated Blog Opera. Now for those of you who don’t know what a ‘Blog Opera’ is, it’s a Literary Soap Opera! I’m not sure if they exist -they probably do- b.u.t. there damn sure isn’t one written from a Five Percenter/Nation of Gods and Earths Perspective, and that’s precisely what makes ‘A Sketch’ unique, rare and innovative within itself. EMBLEM is an incredible Writer and myself and many others undoubtedly cee him as “The Rakim of the God/Earth Literary World”; spearheading this Renaissance of Five Percenter/Nation of Gods and Earths Centered Literature. This is not to discount myself and other Gods and Earths that write; I just think the God has an incredible gift and he inspires me alot. On a side note, I also think that when we’ve grown to actually support eachother with our Projects the same way we support ourselves, we’ll galvanize the power to be “successful in ‘ALL OUR’ undertakings” (29/1-40). Sometimes “we build -narcissistic- prison houses” (29/1-40) that stop us from working together and honestly wanting for eachother what we want for ourselves. Yeah I know this is pretty idealistic, b.u.t. hey, if I don’t cee it maybe our children will. That’s what we’re striving for, right?! As a matter of fact, EMBLEM is the one who borned the idea of putting a Gods/Earths Centered E-Bookshelf on the sidebar of our Blogs.
I haven’t been out in a while b.u.t. going out recently and ceein destroy power dudes -old and young alike- scrambling to get a piece of power u gave me a mild headache, and ceeing these Wizs “believing this on face value” (9/1-40) made me psychologically nauseous. You know what psychologically nauseous means? Well it means I wanted to throw up -some nasty ass words- and I did “all within my power” (40/1-40) to keep my composure. It's also a Depressant laced environment. Anyway, once I got a good pulse on this beast, I was out. As far as Sex is concerned, we learn in the 17/1-40 that one of the meanings of Civilization is “not being a savage in the pursuit of happiness”. Being ‘a savage IN THE PURSUIT’ borns the word ‘Hedonism’. As Men, having the Knowledge of God is not/never compatible with Hedonism, and as long as we “never rise above 6 miles” or the science of Sex (Sex in English, Six in Latin, Hex in Greek) we’ll always “distill back to these Planets” (8/1-40); and believe me, before these Wizs deal with Sex, they damn sure Plan-it (Planet). -duh- The Moon manages her schedule fool! LOL! Anyway, I’m not telling ya’ll to be Eunuchs. -crickets- I am telling ya’ll to be intelligent, safe and have some self restraint. ALL OF US have a carnal side b.u.t. the key is keeping these passions “roped and bound in” (4/1-14) until Musa comes to civilize them. Incidentally, Musa -or Moses- actually means 'drawn outta da water'. Yo, this is true Alchemy; taking baser desires and forging them into a golden touch. Cee, Fucking (10/1-10) “is nothing in comparison to” (32/1-40) Ecstasy (9/1-10). While Fucking begins and ends with a body function, Ecstasy lasts indefinitely. -smile-
I’m a Universal Tour Guide
Being an Enlightener is just like being a Universal Tour Guide. In this Journey through 120 Lessons, I take Travelers to approximately 64 Different Locations, introduce them to about 101 Characters, and point out about 75 Tangible Objects (Souvenirs). There is no central location that an Enlightener starts their Tour of 120; some Enlighteners start their Tour in Harlem New York, others in Detroit Michigan, still others start at some obscure location where The Enlightener & Student decide to meet. Some people take Months to complete this Journey and others take Years, b.u.t. regardless where they start or how long a Student takes, ALL ENLIGHTENERS end our Tours at one place; Pluto, the 9th Solar Fact and last degree in 120. NOW, my Enlightener was a very thorough Tour Guide, just like his Enlightener. Sha had a comprehensive understanding of the Locations we visited, a rich relationship with the Characters he introduced to me, and never overlooked an opportunity to point out an Object along the way. Having completed my Tour on 9/30/1995 and becoming a Tour Guide (Enlightener) myself, I have also taken many people on this Journey myself. The first thing I had to realize and come to terms with is this: THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO DO NOT COMPLETE THIS JOURNEY for various reasons. Because I was sincerely committed to getting 120 (going on this Journey), I blindly assumed that other people were just as committed to this Journey! I had no concept of “my word -not- being bond” (11/1-14) when it came to traveling this path and I couldn’t even conceive how a person could stop, go back or veer off from this path! As I said, I had to come to terms with this and it was very, very painful to watch people quit. While taking people on this Journey I’ve ceen people become paralyzed with fear when they reached the West Asian hillsides and looked up and saw the caves in the 4/1-14. I know people who saw Jerusalem for the first time and have been living in the 5/1-14 since 1996! I know people who strayed away when we got to the 7/1-14 and they’ve been roaming around in the Central Asian (African) Jungle ever since. I’ve ceen people become Muslim as soon as they reached Mecca in the 1/1-14, and I was also there when a person drowned in the Indian Ocean in the South. I’ve watched people loose their marbles and fall apart when we reached the Island of Pelon in the 27/1-40, and I’ve ceen many people get all the way to Pluto; only to suffer from mild to severe cases of Alzheimer’s Disease or get put on disability for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When people contact me as a Tour Guide, the first thing I do is explain the psychological, physical, and socioeconomic demands/ramifications of taking such a 3,680,000,000 mile Journey; it’s not easy, there are adjustments that have to be made in their schedule to make such a Journey and most importantly, they must be sincerely committed to my instructions because it could easily cost them their lives! After I’ve made this perfectly clear to people and they decide they’re ready for this Journey I present them with a Consent/Release Form. Although Enlighteners (Tour Guides) give people different Consent/Release Forms, it’s always a written commitment. Regardless if it’s the Father’s History, Supreme Mathematics, Supreme Alphabet or Student Enrollment (1-10), an Enlightener gives a Student something in writing that they must “commit” to memory; this establishes our initial agreement. Although my Enlightener took me through some preliminary studies, the Consent/Release Form he gave me was Student Enrollment (1-10) and this is what I initially give to people before they begin their actual Journey with me. This is vitally important because it establishes a Contractual Agreement between me -as an Enlightener- and a Student. It also addresses the liability issue; just in case a Traveler wants to try to hold me -The Tour Guide- responsible because the Journey is not what they expected, they got hurt because they weren’t listening to my instructions, or they’re simply dissatisfied for their own personal reasons that are unknown to me. Let me also mention that when this Contractual Agreement is made between an Enlightener (Tour Guide) and a Student (Traveler), either one of them has the right to terminate this Agreement. As a Tour Guide, I’ve never turned people away from taking this Journey or told them that I’m not taking them to Pluto; unless for obvious reasons known to me. I’ve had many experiences when I could clearly cee that a Student (Traveler) wasn’t ready and before I’d agree to take them to Pluto I’d give them some preliminary instructions/tasks in order to get themselves ready. From my experience, some people take my honest advice and prepare themselves for this Journey b.u.t. many people either renege on the Contract in the middle of the Journey or quit before they even begin. Whatever these people choose to do I always insure -and respect-the fact that it’s their choice. If they want to take my trip to Pluto then there are certain requirements that are expected of them as Travelers (Students). If they don’t choose to meet, respect or stay committed to these requirements then they’ve made a conscious decision to not go to Pluto or strand themselves some place in 120. As a Universal Tour Guide I pride myself on “giving all I have and all within my power” (40/1-40) to get people to Pluto; that’s my duty (job). -smile- For those of you who didn’t make it: don’t feel guilty for not following through with your word and don’t be discouraged; you’re not alone! I wanna let you know that embarking on this Journey is always open to you when you’re sincerely committed to do so. Regardless of the reason you came to the end of your personal road -as long as you’re alive- “there’s -always- a chance of coming back” (13/1-40); just not necessarily with my Tour Company.
My Ole Earth
She’s been heavy on my Third (Mind) because she went back to essence during this time about 13 years ago! The stories I could tell you about her. -laughs, shakes head- First of all she was a Psychologist; a field that three of my other siblings have went to College for and have/do work in to this day. Because of this I was raised very different. My Ole Earth was Wise like the Oracle (from the Matrix), had a Richard Pryor sense of humor, a Dana Skully (from The X-files) Skepticism, looked like Cecily Tyson and people came through to visit her like the Nanny in Lackawanna Blues. When I say visit her, I’m talking about me and my siblings friends used to come through! Can you imagine how insightful and entertaining my Ole Earth musta been for children of all ages to come over our house -not to cee us- b.u.t. just to hang out with her?! On top of all of this... my Ole Earth was crazy, for real ya’ll. Psychological and Sociological Terms/Concepts was household language to me and my siblings. At 10 years old I knew what Microcephallic was, got an ass whuppin for using Transference, and was told that my older Brother was going through shit every time he shaved all his facial hair; my Ole Earth would say, “That ain’t nothing but ‘Self Mutilation’. He’s probably over there shavin his goddamn ass too!” Prior to my Ole Earth working as a Director of Family and Children Services, she Directed A Community Center. While she Directed this Community Center she worked with the Youth -who also became her children- and took night classes to earn her Degree in Psychology -minor in Sociology- from Niagara University. She did all of this in her forties and with 6 children -before her and my Ole Dad adopted my younger brother ‘Major Scientist’. Since there were so many children, my Ole Dad got a red A-Team lookin van, that we’d pile in to go places. When Halloween came around my Ole Earth -mind you, while in her forties- would get a Halloween Mask and drive around the hood in our van by herself, scaring the Youth she worked with who were hanging out on the Corner! LOL! One day of my brothers got locked up over some shit he did and the cee ciphers came to the house to pick him up. As they escorted my brother off the porch my Ole Earth smiled, started pouring out some of her coffee out while singing, “This is dedicated to my Homies...” A Psychological Gorilla, she’d whup our asses mentally and if need be, sick my Ole Dad on us for a literal as whuppin. My Ole Earth used to let us watch scary movies so she could scare us with em! I remember when I was about 14 she came home from work tellin me and my brothers -who were 13- that this dude with Schizophrenia (who believed the Devil was in him) was laying in his room pressed down in his bed like it was a 300 pound weight on him, and when he tried to speak different voices came outta him and his tongue rolled out of his mouth down to his neck! When he did eventually ‘rise outta the bed’ he stood trait up without bending his knees! WE WERE SCARED TO DEATH and did everything “within our power” (40/1-40) to be good -once the Sun started going down. This story was “conveniently” told to us -again and again- a couple months after she let us watch The Exorcist. My Ole Earth was something else and one of her favorite hobbies to do with us was “People Watching’. Another thing about her was that she always learned from us. When I’d have a BDP tape and pop it in the car when she’d be droppin me off somewhere she’d quietly learn the lyrics only to surprise me by reciting them at a later date! Although me and my brothers loved Kung-Fu Movies, she’s the one that put us down with Super Ninjas; she proudly built with us about it one morning, telling us she saw it late last night. -smile- Another thing about my Ole Earth was that even though she played piano -my Grand Ole Earth played the organ- and sung at the Church we went to down the street, I don’t recall one conversation about Jesus, the Bible, Heaven, or anything to do with Christianity. She wasn’t religious at all, and built with us about everything from Hermaphrodites, Thought Forms, a Dinka Tribe, Khalil Gibran, Obsessive Compulsive Behavior, Slavery, etc. All in all, my Ole Earth taught me and my siblings how to build relationships and navigate the Psychological, Social Landscape of this Society. When it comes to my growth and development as a person and within The NGE, it was and will always be “The Mother” (my Ole Earth) who intellectually/intuitively prepared me to have a relationship with The Father. Oh yeah, and for the sake of synchronicity, I neglected to mention that “The Mother” (my Ole Earth) was born on June 13th; the same day The Father returned back to essence.