Recently, when I went to my daughter's PTA (Parent/Teacher Association) meeting in a community near Power Hill (Philadelphia), I couldn't help but notice the sheer number of single parents in attendance. Presuming this phenomena represents normalcy these days, it would make it seem as though, 1.) Birth could occur between one parent instead of two, or 2.) Relationships today are in crisis mode. If this is the case, it would mean the heterosexual community within America is having issues with reconciling its differences between the male and female of our species, and of this area, The NGE is certainly not exempt.
Now there are several reasons for this, and I'm sure some of it is bound to involve finger pointing, but we must keep our composure. The answer to these things are usually very complex and often involve several factors. We cannot allow ourselves to be rash or sentimental, nor should we allow the forces that be to blame it on the proverbial "straw man" (i.e. "dead beat fathers are the cause of this") because only lousy women and enemies of Black solidarity would do such a thing. For any body with any wisdom knows, in this life, people gravitate to that which they secretly love most. So if you are in love or open, you are the one with the issue that must be remedied -because it's either about vulnerability or obstinacy . . .
As for the black man and women in America, our existence within the wilderness of North America has been a very precarious situation. At the very least, it has certainly not come without a steep price being attached to it.
Some of our Ancestors were initially brought over here to America to be servants, but we became reduced to the level of slavery according to color. And this was done by another race who were born of a different social, genetic, and ethnic class; simply because they could. Some of these European colonialists were driven by ill-conceived contempt; Imps and what have you, in control of our future as a people.
This particular brand of slavery practiced in America, stripped us of our language and rich traditions (4/1-36). Through this continued process it removed us of our original culture as well; obliterating our morals, values, standards, cosmology and/or religion. In fact, everything special and sacred about us, as indigenous people or tribes, got chewed up in the process of this thing called American slavery.
While we are on the subject of precariousness, social and cultural demise, we cannot allow things like the invention of the word, "Ms.", the "burning of the bra", or the refusal of some women to carry-on with "their mother's ways maintaining the household" (acts now seen as culturally resistant and non-feminine) to go by unscathed either. For these things also played a part in the current day cultural unraveling of the family. Besides, the women who sphere-headed such political organizations, or became its organizational leaders were not hardly the women WE thought they were; no more than than Elton John, David Bowie, Boy George, or George Michaels were the MEN as promised.
Obviously Europe has had thousands of years of dealing with the so-called "alternative lifestyles phenomena" (evidently it has been en vogue since the viking and tribal eras), but for us relatively culture-less blacks in America, we had not had that type of exposure or resolution, until we were exposed to Western culture's ideologies. Surely the flaw here, in terms of feminism, was to allow alternative women oversee the total women's liberation movement; since a heterosexual compromise between men and woman, or the maintaining of nuclear families, would not be the aim of such women. Their solution to gender differences is to be with another of the same kind; not to complement a man in any sort of way. We of the "same mind" should know that black people were brought over here for another purpose, and that was to be used as a tool and also a slave (6/1-14), never to be made literate about this dominant culture or our cultural differences. And when the constitution was written, it, nor its founders, did not have us in mind. Its manufacturers labeled us "3/5's of a man", and I wouldn't exactly call that equal footing or proper consideration for us. It just shows me, that "this" is his society that was shaped according to his lifestyle, and if we are not on the same page, we are not fitting. Besides, eventhough this is a pluralistic society, it is controlled by majority rule, and that places the founding fathers or the colonists in control. This is the same as saying, "It is my decisions, my game my rules!"
The peddlers of human flesh (colonists) have their own traditions, ancestry, and culture which is different from those who were taken from home 379  years ago. We also had our own but weren't allowed to practice it openly! The 38th degree in the 1-40, makes it very plain: "to destroy the. . . in one day without falling victim to the devil's civilization," a.k.a., there's no looking back! The slave master's tradition of isolating various members from the same tribe, whether on the slave ships or plantations, put the finishing touches of fear and isolation in captured black people. This sort of treatment lowered our self-esteem; making us--truly men out of time, and men gripped in fear (8/1-36). This made us a people without culture or a home (not so much the first ones, but the ones who were born from these). Right then and there was the inception of the black individual in America.
American spouts of independence and individualism. It embraces many of the rights and needs of the individual, to surmount and overcome all others. America is also the birthplace of Capitalism: Now what could be wrong with that?
Well, first of all, we represent the "others," mentioned in the previous paragraph. I guess there's nothing wrong with Capitalism, as long as you are the one who's capitalizing. Life is great for the one who is maximizing on the opportunity, but how about the poor sap that's being taken advantage of? In this American game, somebody wins and somebody loses, but to be a Capitalist, you must have something to capitalize OFF OF. . .
Now with the so-called individual, you are capitalizing, or taking advantage of, the group organization: You are that so-called "selfish kid." Parents sacrifice for you, send you off to college, and when they get older, you leave them in an old folk's home with a bunch of old folks they don't know about, and a bunch of caretakers who steal their stuff. Individualism is an "opportunism" with a "me against them" mentality. It's a looking out for number one or "dog eat dog" mentality. I guess its alright, as long as you're not "the other", "the them, or the "Buster."
Black people in America are liken to a kid in a candy shop with no money. Black people want to be the smart shopper sooooo bad. Any one who has ever heard Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison is familiar the all the sentiments: Someone who has something that you can't possibly have; no matter how many times you fry or dye your hair--or date their daughters. We watched THEIR society from barn doors, plantations, and shackles of America, not having a society of our own to operate from. Many of us went from plantation to incarceration without missing a beat, trying to get what they got). Many blacks aspire to have what affluent whites have, so we take on their ways, without comtemplating the consequences.
Once slavery happened to us, as a government sanctioned institution in America, we became men and women within and without any tribal or cultural ties. We were forced into environments and habitats treated a little above intelligent animals, and capable of servitude to "a master race" (another group of people who claimed they owned us). This posture must have been believed, if not well thought out by the majority of their people because they consistently maintained this institution for 310 years. These ideas have their parallels with Munich and Apartheid. We hodge-podged a few things from their society, in an attempt to make up for the cultural void (some good/some bad), striving to forge some semblance of a nation, but with differences. Up until the 1950's and 60's, we maintained a sense of "difference" about ourselves, even though it was still Westernized. Marcus Garvey and Booker T. Washington knew of each other, for example. Our persistence succeeded only because the American/European/Western culture allowed it, or didn't recognize it was happening! Christianity served as one of those "pieced together remedies" we used, to make up for the moral poverty we were subject to, due to the destruction of our black civilization. Mind you, the inception of the Bible, from out of the Hebrew Talmud, is purely a Western invention. Yet at the same time, the white man of that day had no idea of the significance of these events, to the events surrounding the date of October 10th, 1964. . . Yet the overall effect had many of us holding ideas that the "youngest people on the planet" have; although never tested over the course of time. That, for my people, is a travesty for us; being the oldest people on this planet. For within the culture of I-God is a promise for a greater future for humanity and civilization. For us who know, we are the way, the truth, and the light, but we must pull away from these Westernized cultural ways that were created under Ni·hil·is·tic tendencies!
Take my precious jewel for example: her mom and I never lived together. There were plenty of people at that PTA meeting, with similar (or the same) situations. That is to say that my situation is in no way unusual. During the time before her inception, I was seeing her mother, and we were supposed to be working on a more serious relationship -at least I thought we were. This was one of the main problems: a group oriented person and an individualistic person trying to be a couple. Obviously, she had her ideas, and I had mine, but she had no respect for my leadership ability, although she tried to conceal it, and yet, we were trying to grow together -at least that's what I thought. We were not on the same page. There was an attraction: in most cases, like bait and tackle or a moth to flame, but there was not mutual respect. She viewed herself as sexy and thought this to be a cover-up for her inadequacies and a tool for manipulation and persuasion. I enjoyed her mentally and physically, but as far as family, cultural, and nationalistic goals go, she was not a match! Yet her goals were to lower my standards and bond me to her agenda. How myopic, deceptive, disrespectful and egotistical is that thinking? Why even waste my time.
As far as societies go, the individual is of little use to the culture that produces it. Their motives are so ego centered, despite the fact that they may come from a stable environment. They take from the society and give little back. These are the people who don't want children and have to get their's first. They are the ones you know what they are thinking, but they're always in a contemplative mode. Now how much trust and care can you get out of that? Much less talk about love! These people benefit from the contributing society oriented people, but they are anything but. They are opportunistic, single-minded, cynical but possess a great smile and wit. They're gonna get theirs, but at what expense? There's a whole generation out there who never saw their parents together. This means that this group never learned first hand how to have a relationship or a family. The father tells them one thing, and the mother tells them something else. The child has to judge for themselves, because the parents can't even come together for the child's benefit. So how's the future looking? "Mommy, what's a marriage?"
Many of our parents made sacrifices to get us a decent meal, a healthy safe environment, and clothes to wear on our backs. Some even tried to serve as role models to for their ideals, and we were highly critical of them. They were carrying out tradition and we were deciding what we will and will never do. Now our children are coming up short, lame, and handicap because of our egos. Some of them will never know first hand, what family means. And half of what I'm saying is meaningless to some of us because we never knew what we're missing. We were never raised in a family that way, and is difficult to think about doing things for the future of our people. Selfishness has gotten the better of us, and we can't sense what others are feeling -because we are too busy avoiding pain ourselves. We can't tell when we are hurting others or damaging our chances -because we have bought into Western individualism. This segment of our people weren't raised properly, so why should you expect more from their children and their values?
America's rugged individuals are producing an inferior cultural product, and the consumer must be aware that the standards are dropping quick. The average black family today doesn't represent a relationship or family. It's more like settlements and bargaining agreements, more than deliberate construction. We're settling for the worst part and salvaging children from the wreckage. If families go, then nation building is impossible. We can do better than following the practice of ignorance. Everyone keeps talking about "It's my turn", but "When is it the children's turn?" is my concern. And as I said earlier, The NGE is not exempt.
We need to focus on our children and a better sense of family and values. Soon our future will be in their hands, and they won't know how to uphold our standards. Some things are more important than being selfish. Cooperating and getting along, for the sake of solidifying family values within the children, is one of them. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few, and our children's sense of family is at stake here. The group needs are always more important than the people that make it up. Besides, if we don't take care of it NOW, THEN it will be too late to try to give our offspring values we never showed them through working together.