Monday, March 25, 2013

Marquise de Merteuil and Cécile de Volanges
Misogyny = Misandry
Western Society, without a doubt, is historically and presently Misogynistic, Male Chauvinistic, Sexist, and Gender Oppressive. I've never supported this and have always been a firm advocate of Equality, regardless of gender. Many others also bear witness to this inherent problem with Western Society yet the important question to ask ourselves is, "What are we doing about it?" For females, this question is even more critical to answer because through her is potentially born the solution to these social ills.

There are females who have taken and are taking successful steps to solve this problem via embracing Cultures that are non-Western, engaging in the Political Process to create legislation that brings about levels of Equality, and creating their own Institutions/Businesses that promotes Gender Equality. At the same time you have other females who haven't taken successful steps to solve this problem. So instead of addressing Misogyny they become Misandrists; an unhealthy response to an unhealthy situation.

Misandry is defined as "hatred or strong dislike for males, boys, and men". The word "misandry" didn't appear in most dictionaries until the mid 1900's and in the 1970's it was considered a new term being introduced into mainstream American English (language). Misandry, as a concept, still hasn't been totally aknowledged within mainstream Western Society because if you were to go to Microsoft Word right now and type in the word "misandrist" a red line will appear underneath it meaning 'this is not a word' or 'this word is mispelled'. The point here to consider is that words, and their function, still shape our reality -even if Microsoft Word doesn't acknowledge them. It's also important to consider that just because words are not common within mainstream American English, it doesn't mean they don't exist, they're harmless, or neutral. In fact, oftentimes it's those things that appear nonexistent, innocent, and indifferent that actually end up being the most real, harmful, and political.

There are many reasons, in addition to a Misogynistic Western Societal atmosphere, that females become Misandrists. Sometimes they were raised by Lesbian Parents. Othertimes they may have been taken advantage of or abandoned by the males in their life. Maybe they were influenced by a Feminist. Perhaps they were in relationships with serial cheaters. Regardless what their rationalization is for this contempt for males, it doesn't solve their problem of reconciliation. Over the years I've watched females group together based upon mutual pain and insecurities. Many of these support groups are often nothing more than bitch sessions to trade war stories about mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Many of these groups do not even consider or explore healthy ways to reconcile a dysfunctional family unit and bring males and females back together. Oftentimes their Mission Statements are "It's all about my sisters" and the background music is the Covergirl, Queen Latifiahed Theme from Living Single. There's nothing wrong with Sisterhood; I think that's very important for our families and communities! Yet when these girlfriend pow-pows are not providing females with effective/healthy ways to come together with males to advocate one common cause of (re)building a family and community, that's a fundamental problem. Whenever I engage a group of females who're advocating any kind of Woman's Group I always ask them what is their plan of action and goal in regards to coming together with males/men for the purpose of family and community. If they don't have a plan, goal or even try to rationalize their Mission as "focused on what females/women need to do for ourselves" I know right then and there that I, as a male/man, am not an essential part of their plan or goal in regards to family and community. This mentality and approach is no different than the plans of action Western Society has historically advocated with no goal for coming together with Black/Brown families and communities. In other words, Caucasians as a group in America, have historically and legally kept Black/Brown apart from their own social equality from 1776-1965; 189 years of America's 237 year existence. Instead of finding healthy ways to address this alienation/seperation, many Black/Brown people have adopted the same mentality and approach towards eachother. So many of us keep eachother apart from our own social equality based upon cultural, ethnic, religious, academic, economic, gender, and etc. differences too. One of these differences I am pointing out is along gender lines; where Black/Brown females, in response to the 'blackfaced misogyny' that may/may not have been directly/indirectly perpetrated against them by Black/Brown males, are now promoting Misandry. 

Many females don't even realize that deep down inside they're holding this contempt for males, boys, and men. One of the biggest indicators is when the bulk of a their conversation is about how worthless males are and how men are beneath them. It reminds me of this female having a conversation with me about how dudes just wasn't on her level, as if she was The Last Unicorn. I perfectly understand the frustration of socializing with 'some' people; I've gotten frustrated myself. Yet to take a position that "males", "men", and "dudes" are ALL a certain way is deeply problematic. The females who think and feel this way about ALL males have basically reduced themselves to three abiological options in life:

1.) Denounce all males and become a Lesbian.
2.) Denounce all males, become a female eunuch, and promote Fratricide/Patricide.
3.) Use males as a tool and also as a slave.

While the issue of Gender Equality is a legitimate concern for any female (and males), these three abiological choices are not a healthy response/answer to the problem of Misogyny. They're not legitimate solutions because they do not demonstrate a female's commitment to assist in (re)building families and communities for our future generations. For without males there are no children or future and a Society without offspring will cease to exist; just like Societies without females to bear offspring will also cease to exist. So ceeing that these three options are obviously not a healthy response/answer, what is a legitimate solution to the problem? Do these solutions insure the production, provisions, and protection of a future Society?

I think before we even answer that question we have to be aware that we, as Black/Brown people within North America, are not the primary architects of this Society. We were given legal permission to participate in this Society about 48 years ago -even though America will be celebrating it's 237th Birthday this year. So we as Black/Brown people are not the status quo nor does this Society we reside in primarily reflect our Ancestors culture (core values, language, customs, traditions and etc.). Because we reside in North America and were subjected to its cultural conditions, all of us in some form or fashion have adopted many of these core values, language, customs, traditions and etc. We we all assimilated and some of us are striving daily to recapture our culture. So this is the lens we should be looking at eachother through; a filter of consideration for being made other than ourselves from eating the wrong cultural foods. In other words, present day Black/Brown males who perpetuate Western Society's Misogyny, Male Chauvinism, Sexism, and Gender Oppression were taught this from the most Misogynistic, Male Chauvinistic, Sexist, and Gender Oppressive people on the Planet. Likewise, Black/Brown females whose unhealthy answer to Misandry (and Misogyny) are also perpetuating a Western Ideology. Realizing this gives us the ability think about and seek answers outside of the Western box many of us are stuck in. In thinking outside of the box we must ask ourselves: How did we relate to eachother as Black/Brown people before July 4th 1776? How did we relate to one another 1200 years ago? What about 10,000 years ago? The further we go back, the resources/references we have to solve the problems of today. In many cases we'll come across practical solutions from people who thought about our problems many moons ago.

In closing, I want to encourage my sisters (and brothers) to realize that whatever problems we face as a people today doesn't exist in a vacuum. Also, the problems we're thinking about today are problems we have already considered; Archeologists have documented us as being here hundreds of thousands of years so that's alot of thinking about life and living. In striving to solve our problems, any solutions we come up with MUST involve a  commitment to assist in (re)building our families and communities for our future generations. If this bond is  not present, our lives will continue to be broken. Again, we've been documented as being here for hundreds of thousands of years so there are plenty of examples to put our theories to the test. Misogyny and Misandry is flawed logic; there is no life that has ever come from that. Hatred, strong dislike, or disatisfaction with one another only breeds dissention. This dissention causes division and before long we make Devils. Ladies, yes there are males who need some work, just like you do, and we need to work it out together. It's an excellent idea to come together as women/sisters to address issues related to females b.u.t. don't forget about us males! -smile- We need your insight and answers about ways we can (re)build our families and communities; our future generations depend on us providing these answers, together.