Our Vulnerability is equal to our Responsibility

Photo: Alana Adetola Arts Photography, LLC

 

     On Epiphany Day, I will be fifty years young. There is more snow on the roof than last year but still a lot of fire in this furnace. Reflecting upon my life thus far, there are many things that I have learned, and many things that I am still learning. The main thing that I have been intentional about learning is how to be more vulnerable. Vulnerable about what I share, how I share it, and what I am open to receive. It has truly been my greatest challenge thus far.

    As males in an Androcentric society, there is a traditional emphasis on IQ, or the assessment of intelligence around reasoning. What we are rarely taught about is EQ or emotional intelligence. EQ is defined as a measurement that "determines an individual's ability to identify emotions, both their own and that of others. It is a common belief that people with a high EQ make better leaders, because of their ability to understand and connect with those around them." What I have learned is that we are indoctrinated since boyhood to not show emotion, not use words that express emotion, or even acknowledge the emotions of others. This unsophisticated posture and stoic attitude has ill-equipped many of us males to even identify emotions; our own and what other human beings are experiencing and expressing. Yes, we know what mad, happy, and sad is. Yet it is challenging for many of us to recognize depression, rage, apathy, empathy, confusion, jealousy, adoration, disappointment, and numerous other emotions that many women naturally can. It took me years to realize how unevolved I was, and still am, regarding my EQ. For women, I think it is important to understand that as men, we are traditionally socialized NOT TO BE emotionally available to ourselves and for each other. It is very rare that dudes get together and honestly talk about how a woman hurt our feelings by what she said or did, how confused we are about how our relationship is going, or that we are honestly afraid to take the next step in a career. In fact, we probably don't even use the words "hurt", "confused", or "afraid" to describe how we feel even though that is exactly what we are experiencing. We usually don't tell other men that we are proud of them, say that we admire certain qualities about their character, or let them know that we appreciate them being in our lives. We were not taught, and still don't learn, that these are healthy human interactions and important expressions to share with one another. Now, as a woman, imagine having the expectation of us men being emotionally available to you. It is not impossible; it is often unrealistic because many of us were never given the tools. Many of us never learned this. To get many of us men to just begin including words in our vocabulary to communicate emotion, we need to do the self-work of learning to first identify those variety of emotions that we all experience. Do you know how many times we feel ashamed yet express it as anger? Many of us don't even realize that what we are feeling is shame. We just think we are mad about something. As men, we have been taught to historically suppress, minimize, and outright deny these emotions. And to top it all off, who do you think is best qualified to teach us how to navigate these emotions? One of the main people whom many men refuse to learn from; women. 

     YouTube Link: Online Class For Women

     I grew up in a household where my father had some emotional intelligence. He would openly cry if he was upset, he saw something beautiful, and he did not hide it or apologize for expressing these emotions. He told my siblings and I that he loved us, he openly showed affection to our mother, he used words to communicate how he felt, and I was not told "don't cry" or "be a man." Even with seeing, experiencing, and having access to all of this EQ in my own household, I was still unevolved. What I experienced at home was not reflected in the dominant society or the everyday social environments where I invested most of my time. My household experience was usually not being reinforced anywhere outside, especially within the various sports that I participated in. The importance of emotional intelligence never crossed my mind as a child, and it still never crosses the mind of many men. When I finally did begin to think about it, in my adult years, the next questions that I began to ask myself is: Who could I trust to share with? How can I learn to be vulnerable in a Capitalistic society that thrived on taking advantage of the most vulnerable? These are not questions that I simply found an answer to, these are questions that I constantly ask myself as I learn to increase my EQ. 

     As a part of my growth and development process over the last two years I have been intentional about including words that describe emotion within my vocabulary. That has not been a walk in the park for me. I have had experiences with women whom I shared personal feelings with who did not know what to do with them. I have had women laugh, dismiss what I shared, minimize what I expressed, or completely ignore it and talk about their own emotions. Although I was initially hurt and sometimes vowed to never share sh*t with them again, I did come to understand that they were usually not accustomed to seeing that from a man or being in the position to receive that expression. They did not know what to do. Whatever their reaction was, it was an indication for me that they were unable to hold space for me emotionally, while simultaneously expecting me to hold space for them. We may had been compatible in various areas, yet being non-compatible in the area of emotional intelligence began to be a struggle for me, especially as a Black man living in a hostile society. And I'm not saying this from the perspective of a man with a high EQ, I am saying this as a man developing in this area of emotional intelligence being with a woman who is unprepared to receive and reciprocate that. 

     Knowledge of Self is not simply an intellectual journey. It is also a path of the heart that requires us to critically examine how we think AND feel. This is a lifelong commitment to growth and development beyond just reading/collecting books, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and debating people in the comment sections on social media. Sometimes, it may include professional therapy. Not life coaching. Not the Universal Parliament. Not a church, mosque, masjid, synagogue, or kingdom hall. T.h.e.r.a.p.y. When my father died in his sleep and my brother was murdered hours later on the same day in 2021, I sought therapy for the first time in my life. I had no idea how that tragedy could potentially affect me, and I wanted to be proactive by seeking professional help. I found a Black Therapist and went for about six months. Through her I had an opportunity to help name, unpack, process, and communicate my emotions. I am unsure how I would have gone through that tragedy without that professional help, along with the support of my family and friends. I am much better for it, and I see how it can be a benefit us men. Not just because we experienced similar tragedies; it just took that kind of tragedy for me to take that step. It is a benefit simply because we are Black men living in a historically hostile society, and we personally don't have all of the answers. Others can help us discover those answers, and some of them are actual professionals. An important part of being vulnerable is also being open to a professional possibility to learn, and grow. We will be better for it. 

     

Peace,

Saladin

When People Fear Success, More Than Failure

United Nations, Geneva Switzerland

     Back in the early 2000s I was walking down a crowded street in NYC and a man approached me and began talking about an article that I wrote in a UK Publication in the 1990s. He described that article in detail, asked questions, and shared how important it was to his growth and development. This incident was nearly a decade after I wrote that article, before the development of social media apps, and before smart phones even existed. That experience shook me up and was one of my first introductions to what it means to be a public figure. On one hand I appreciated learning about how my work was positively impacting lives, yet it was strange being approached that way in the public. I thought a lot about being surveilled, how this person was possibly a government agent, how many other people were watching me, and the potential threat to my life and possibly those around me. It wasn't like that article was about bird watching in Vermont, it was about cultural awareness and self-determination. 

    With all of the work that I have done over the years and continue to do, experiences like this have only increased, exponentially. Nowadays, I am much more accustomed to and prepared to handle these experiences, embracing the fact that this global visibility is a natural result of the work that I do. Contrary to what some folks would like to believe, I have had to learn to acknowledge, accept, and live with this attention. This is a global visibility that I never strived for or desired. 

     Last month I was sitting with colleagues at a Conference in Philadelphia and shared with them my experience filming Episode 5 of the award-winning docuseries Enslaved, executive produced and starring Samuel L. Jackson. Three days prior to filming I learned that the production date/location was changed to the middle of the week 700 miles away to Lake Michigan in Sherboygan, Wisconsin. I was teaching Pre-K at the time, it was nearing the end of the year, and I was coordinating/practicing our students graduation event that was going to be held that Friday. So that Tuesday I brought my luggage to school so that I could leave directly from class to the airport in order to catch a flight to Milwaukee. I flew out of Buffalo, New York that evening and arrived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin that night where car service drove me to Sherboygan about an hour away. I arrived after midnight, checked into the Blue Harbor Resort, and was informed by some of the production team that we would be meeting for breakfast at 5:00am to be out on the dive boat by 5:30am. Keep in mind that from the time I left school the day before, every single moment was a completely new experience for me. I could hardly sleep; it seemed like I blinked my eyes, and it was 5:00am. 

     When I went downstairs to breakfast, I briefly met the production team and was informed by the Director Simcha Jacobovici that we were going to be boarding a dive boat that would be taking us two hours out into the middle of Lake Michigan. There our team of scuba divers would be examining the wreckage of the Home and the Niagara; two sunken schooners now sitting almost 170 and 50 feet below the surface that once ferried Black freedom seekers to Canada from Sandusky, Ohio. Again, I cannot emphasis enough that this was all new to me. This is the first time I was in Wisconsin, staying at this location, meeting the crew, riding on a dive boat, and filming a documentary in this environment. To top it off, an hour into our boat trip, as I start to get seasick below deck, Simcha starts to get footage of myself and Historian John Polacsek discussing Black freedom seekers using waterways along the underground railroad. We then moved to the upper deck and this is footage that was primarily shown in the docuseries. We filmed all day, and we got back to the resort in time for a late dinner. The next morning after breakfast I was scheduled to get car service to the Milwaukee airport to fly back to New York, but Simcha had other plans. There was some footage that he didn't get, and we all had to change back into our clothes from yesterday to get back on the dive boat to shoot. I was able to get to the airport to make my flight just in time. I made it back to New York that night and was up the next morning for our last day of school and Pre-K graduation. All of that happened within a span of 72 hours, and it took me some time to process that experience. The best way that I could describe it is teleportation. In the midst of that experience I was nervous, it was stressful, and I was seasick at times, yet it emotionally prepared me for every single thing that I have done after that. Not once did I feel unqualified, unprepared, or in a space I did not belong. That experience empowered me with the ability to professionally show up under conditions like this, that most folks would be afraid of, which has now become a consistent part of my life. One day I may be at the local grocery store speaking to a person, and 24 hours later be in another state or country speaking to a room of 1,000 people. There is a fearlessness that I have when it comes to showing up, and that is an important part of being successful in any of our undertakings.

     Most folks don’t know how it feels to be visible, and vulnerable. When people around the world can recognize you, reach out to you for assistance/advice, constantly express their gratitude, invest in what you do, quote you in music/literature/curriculum, etc. Take a moment and Google your name to see what comes up about you. Now Google my name, Saladin Allah, and see what comes up. This has been my constant reality for well over two decades now. In no way am I complaining or saying that this is a bad thing. What I am saying is that being a public figure comes with a level of scrutiny, responsibility, consistency, and other expectations that most folks do not understand, are not prepared for, or maybe would not even want. Some folks even believe that they are prepared, or even deserving of this kind of public visibility, and do everything in their power to get it. Yet they usually refuse to do the consistent often "non-visible" work that is actually notable and commands this attention. I didn't just get here, nor did my global visibility happen overnight or because of some viral video, meme, or social media post. I am an internet immigrant who came from an age before household computers and some Tictokers were born native in a digital world. I became influential before Influencers existed and taught online classes before there was something called Zoom, and doing online radio shows before podcasting existed. I have been here for a while. For years I humbled myself and would not even share with people the reality of what goes on in my life as a public figure. Sure, some people can see what I choose to share on social media about my work, but that is just a small fraction of what this internal world is like, and the demands that come along with it. Seeing life through this lens, I continue to learn a lot about myself and other people. A major part of this education is understanding that socioeconomic, educational, and etc. factors aside, when we are our own worst enemies, we drastically limit our ability to succeed. 

    Something that I have also learned is that many people would rather sit and post content on social media to simulate success rather than do the actual work to be successful. Some people even fear success more than they do failure. They would rather accept being safe and mediocre than take a chance at being better. In many cases, they will make up all of the excuses in the world, and create the most elaborate self-sabotage schemes, like play the B.S.E. [Blame Somebody Else] Game, as the reason for their failure to succeed. I have seen this scenario time and time again and could write a book about the number of times that I have helped put people in positions to succeed and they fumbled the bag, dropped the ball, or simply did not show up. And YES, as crazy as this sounds, some folks have even tried to blame me for their failure; even though all I did was open doors for them, get out of the way, help them get money, and never ask for anything in return. I used to take that personal, be hurt, and disappointed in people. Then I grew to understand that it was not personal. It was clearly not about me, or everything that I was able to do for them, that they were not able to do for me or for themselves. 

     Over the last decade I began to be more intentional about publicly owning, acknowledging, and talking about my work, and receiving acknowledgement from others. It was never a case of Imposter Syndrome or lack of pride; I just really considered the feelings of other people by choosing not to be as big as I really was. I am still considerate like that, yet I no longer shrink myself for others to feel comfortable. If I feel like talking about working with the UN, sharing some experiences consulting a celebrity, international travel with a purpose, or a chapter in the seventeenth book that I published, it is what it is. I mean, if a watched a lot of reality television, had a job I didn't like, wanted someone to make me happy, or gossiped about what other people were doing/not doing, I would have that to talk about too, but I don't. Another thing that I learned is some people see your accomplishments and happiness as a magnifying glass that only enlarges their failures and unhappiness. For whatever reason, sometimes even unknown to them, they do not 'feel' proud of you, regardless how they try to mask it. I have seen men who cannot genuinely say things like, "I am proud of you", "You inspire me" and "You helped me..." I've watched dudes literally repeat my words as if they said it or copy/remix some project, program, or initiative that I created, yet act like it didn't come from me. Some even went as far as privately reach out for my guidance and resources behind closed doors but then act like they don't associate with me in the public. Yeah, it's wild, but this is something that has come along with being in the public like that. 

     I grew up in a pre-internet era where the work that people did, or didn't do, was clearly evident in our everyday lives. That is where we were recognized, or not, in a concrete reality. In today's digital landscape of social media, many people are constantly seeking virtual attention and notoriety that they haven’t concretely earned or deserve. People start something and then fizzle out months later because they are ambulance chasing content creators. They post things they did years ago for credit because they are not doing anything credible right now. They troll public figures on social media because a response validates them as "somebody" and equally important. I've said on many occasions that I use social media as a routing device back to reality. It directs people to what I have actually done, and what I am actually doing, in concrete reality. 

    Even though I get frustrated sometimes, I may feel like I need a personal assistant, and there are not enough hours in a day, I have learned to personally handle the attention and expectations of being a public figure. My biggest challenge has been how to establish and maintain a relationship in the midst of all of this, which I am still striving to figure out. One day I will get there. 

Peace,

Saladin

Genealogy and Discovering Our Roots

 

Marriage Certificate of Great Aunt Gertrude (Williams) Dorsey to Great Uncle Leo Joseph Dorsey.
In this certificate, Leo's parents Joseph -Allan- Dorsey and Edith Harper are highlighted. 

     Over the last few years, I have noticed a growing trend on social media of Black folks debating our ancestral origins and identity. What I rarely see are discussions on genealogy. Studying our family history and tracing our lineages would end much speculation about our identity and where we come from. Through this process, we find names, ethnicities, ages, genders, geographic locations, professions, property, and other documents. The best way that I can describe my own genealogical journey is "mind-blowing"! Check this out. 

    Before and following the August 1st, 1834 Abolition of Slavery throughout the British Empire, it is estimated that between 30,000 and 100,000 enslaved people escaped to freedom onto the Canadian side and established communities. When the Fugitive Slave Act was passed in 1850 by then-President Millard Fillmore, an exodus of free and enslaved black folks began to cross the Canadian and Mexican border. These patterns are clearly indicated in population census data and community activity on both sides of the U.S., Canadian, and Mexican borders during these time periods. During that time period, numerous family members on my father's side made that journey and helped establish or settle into Black communities within the Province of Ontario, Canada. From the records that I discovered, the majority of these ancestors were affiliated with AME (African Methodist Episcopal) Institutions that taught Black Liberation Theology. In addition to Little Africa, a Black community located in Fort Erie, Ontario, the other most notable community where my family members resided was Coloured Village in St. Catharines, Ontario.    

Salem Chapel BME Church

     Central to St. Catharines Coloured Village community was/is the Salem Chapel BME (British Methodist Episcopal) Church. This institution was built by formally enslaved people, freedom seekers, in 1855. One of Salem Chapel's most notable members was Harriet Tubman, who lived in St. Catharines from 1851 to about 1861 right across the street in a boarding house -which no longer stands. Initially established as an AME institution, the Salem Chapel and many other Canadian institutions became BME affiliated following the passage of the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act. Members refused to travel into the United States to attend annual AME Conferences for fear of being captured so they began to establish their own BME Conferences. Central to these institutions' Black Liberation Theology were civic protests, anti-slavery lectures, and the establishment of mutual aid committees to provide food, clothing, and shelter for newly arriving freedom seekers. There were other notable members of Salem Chapel during the time that Harriet Tubman worshipped there, and many were my relatives. 

St. Catharines Orioles; First Black Hockey Team in Ontario, Canada.
7 players were my relatives: Leverne "Larry", Amos and Gordon Dorsey,
Doug, Dick and Hope Nicholson, and Winifred Bell
 

     Allan Alexander Dorsey or Deacon Dorsey is my 2nd-great grandfather who was born c.1840 in Tubman Country, Dorchester County, Maryland. He escaped from enslavement c.1857, settled in St. Catharines, and joined the BME Church where he met and married Samantha “Amanda/Mandy” Hemsley in 1863. Amanda was born in St. Catharines c.1844 and they had six children: Maurice, Lydia, Mary, Joseph Allan, William, and Frederick. Deacon Dorsey was a well-respected member of the community and served in that position at the Salem Chapel from 1868 until his death in 1882. Joseph Allan is my great-grandfather, the father of my grandmother Inez Maude Frank (Dorsey), who is featured in the news article below.

Inez Maude Frank (Dorsey), Grandmother

Great Aunts, Sisters Gertrude Dorsey (L) and Olive Plummer (R)

    It is through my grandmother Inez Dorsey (Frank) that I am related to both my 3rd great-grandfathers Josiah Henson and the Rev. James Harper. My grandmother Inez is the daughter of Joseph Allan Dorsey (Deacon Dorsey's son) & Edith Harper. Edith is the daughter of Charles & Harriet (Collis) Harper. Charles is the son of Margaret and the Rev. James Harper; my 3rd great-grandparents. Another interesting fact that I learned is while my great-grandmother Edith was born in St. Catharines, her father Charles, his five siblings, and his parents Margaret and Rev. James Harper were all born in Columbia, South Carolina. It is from this location that they escaped slavery. So, who was the Rev. James Harper? He was Harriet Tubman's Pastor at Salem Chapel when she lived in St. Catharines, Ontario Canada. 

     When the First Annual AME Conference of Upper Canada was held in Toronto on July 21st, 1840, before their affiliation with the BME, Rev. James Harper was in attendance alongside my other more famous 3rd great-grandfather, Josiah Henson. Two years later in July 1842, the AME Churches of Upper Canada again gathered for a Conference but this time in Hamilton, Ontario Canada. At this Conference Rev. Harper was ordained an Elder and Josiah Henson was ordained a Deacon. Also present was Austin Stewart, Black Abolitionist who would eventually author the famous 1861 biography Twenty-two Years a Slave and Forty Years a Freeman. Another person who was present was Rev. Jacob Dorsey from the Salem Chapel, another one of my relatives who was born enslaved in Maryland around 1790 and escaped to Canada. 

     Josiah Henson was born enslaved in Charles County, Maryland June 15th, 1789. At the age of 41, he, his wife Charlotte, and four small children -two of whom he carried in a knapsack on his back- escaped from Owensboro, Kentucky. Forty-one days later they crossed to freedom in Fort Erie, Ontario Canada on October 28th, 1830, and settled into a Black community there known as Little Africa. Josiah would go on to lead a Black Militia during the Rebellion of 1837, found the Dawn Settlement in present-day Dresden, Ontario, establish the British-American Institute, and work as both an Abolitionist/Pastor. In 1849, at the age of 60, Josiah Henson's book “The Life of Josiah Henson, Formerly a Slave, Now an Inhabitant of Canada, as Narrated by Himself”, was published. As this book circulated among abolitionist reading rooms, Harriet Beecher Stowe, a young writer and abolitionist, learned about Josiah Henson. Upon one of his trips from Boston in 1849, he met Stowe at her home in Andover, Massachusetts. Two years later in 1851 Stowe wrote to Gamaliel Bailey, the editor and publisher of The National Era, and offered him a story for his antislavery paper that she had been working on. Published in The National Era on June 5th, 1851, Stowe's story Uncle Tom's Cabin ran in forty-one weekly installments for ten months. This series of articles used Henson's life story as source material, and centered him under the alias 'Tom' as the protagonist. These articles were published one year later in 1852 as the novel Uncle Tom's Cabin and became the best-selling novel of the 19th Century. 

     Stowe received a lot of negative backlashes and criticized as making the story up because it was a novel. To set the record straight, Stowe published a second book titled The Key to Uncle Tom’s Cabin one year later in 1853. It is in this book that Stowe recounts the life of “the venerable” Josiah Henson and exclaims that his life served as the basis of her famous novel. This book was seen as the spark that ignited the Civil War, which began on April 12th, 1861. In fact, when Stowe visited President Lincoln on December 2nd, 1862, he is reported to have said, "So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war." In the midst of the Civil War, then President Abraham Lincoln began to draft a document which became The Emancipation Proclamation. Six months after meeting Stowe, on June 16th, 1862, President Lincoln checked out a copy of The Key to Uncle Tom’s Cabin from the Library of Congress and returned it forty-four days later on July 29th, 1862. This book was used as President Lincoln's primary source material to draft the Emancipation Proclamation, enacted six months later, on January 1st, 1863. 

My Father Philip B. Frank holding a picture of Josiah Henson,
his 2nd great-grandfather and my 3rd great-grandfather

     What I have shared is just scratches the surface of the genealogy research that I have done on my family. It is a rich legacy of self-emancipation, education, community building, and preserving our cultural identity. Along with dozens of Underground Railroad freedom seekers who escaped to Canada, I have found family members draft cards who fought in WWI and WWII, Indigenous family members living on the Six Nations territory in Canada, violinists, members of the first Black hockey team in Ontario, the first Black person on a Canadian stamp, family members who chaired committees for immigrant aid societies, public speakers, poets, and etc. 

     There is a saying that we should live our lives as if a million ancestors were watching. All of us had two parents, regardless if we know them or not. This means that we had to have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, sixteen 2nd-great-grandparents, thirty-two 3rd great-grandparents, and etc. This is not even considering numerous aunts/great aunts, uncles/great uncles, and cousins. That is our ancestry and our ancestors are literally a part of our genetic code (secret language/writing); we embody them. We are also composite of their stories; their choices, accomplishments, failures, epiphanies, perseverance, pain, and joy. We are the evidence of what our ancestors did, what they didn't do, and what they hoped to do in their lifetime. Imagine knowing little to nothing about them and these stories. Consider the wealth of resources and reference books of wisdom that we don't have access to because we do not know them or their names. How well can we truly know ourselves without knowing much about where we came from, and the sacrifices that our ancestors made, that enabled us to be here? Consider the miracles that our family members performed or experienced over the generations, that we know nothing about. While each year gives us an opportunity to learn about and express our infinite potential, imagine not knowing how generations of family members have knowingly/unknowingly expressed their infinite potential in different areas of life. There is no advantage, asset, or value in not knowing who our people were, and are, to AND in us. If you're interested in learning about your family, Family Search is an excellent website to start, plus it's free. All you need is the desire to know, the diligence to search, and the love to share it with others, especially your family!

Peace,

Saladin

Builders Build; Journeys to The Motherland

Anusha on the white sand beaches of Zanzibar

 

    Last year I traveled to Africa for the first time following the successful opening of my Atlantis School Gifted Youngsters. For two years I worked on renovating the site, while simultaneously coordinating public art projects in my city through the Niagara Falls National Heritage Area, serving as the director of community engagement at the Niagara Falls Underground Railroad Heritage Center, working with the United Nations, doing documentary projects, and various other programs and initiatives. It was a lot, and I would joking tell people that I work twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week. However, none of it felt or feels like work because I love what I do. Over this time period I sacrificed a lot to complete the Atlantis School. There were times that I had an opportunity to travel outside of a professional capacity, yet I chose to purchase a pallet of drywall, new windows, or appliances. Upon the completion of the Atlantis School I planned to take a trip somewhere in January 2023. That "somewhere" was Tanzania, 7,760 miles away. 

Tanzania, January 2023

     Many people have asked me, "Why Tanzania?", and there are a few reasons why I chose this location for my first journey to Africa. Number one, this East African country, with over one hundred and twenty different tribes, does not have the same history of the transatlantic trade of enslaved people as West Africa. Yes, I will visit the Western African slave ports, castles, and etc. one day. I did not want my first trip "home" to be an experience of trauma tourism. Secondly, I wanted to be in an area where I could see the various landscapes of the African continent including its famous wildlife. My entire life I grew up seeing Maasai statues, spears, shields, and other African art and crafts that my father collected. To visit a land that my father never journeyed to, yet taught my siblings and I so much about, was a personal pilgrimage. Lastly, Tanzania's Visa and COVID-19 policies were not harsh restrictions. I did not need to get dozens of vaccinations, nor was their media using fearmongering propaganda to force people to do so. 

     If you have ever said or heard someone talk about their dream to return to the motherland, my experience was like what you might imagine. From the time that I set foot on the soil in Mt. Kilimanjaro, until the time that I left, it was one of the most liberating experiences in my entire life. I felt like a king returning to my country. Our people were kind, generous, considerate, and honored for me to be there. There were white 'tourists' there from around the world to go on safaris and visit Zanzibar, yet I was not treated as a tourist. It is the first time in my life as a Black man that I have ever felt a sense of security, safety, and comfort. I was home! It left such a deep impression on me that on my journey back to America all I could think about was how I could bring others with me next time. I literally began putting the plan together on the plane. Several months later I was right back in Tanzania, and Zanzibar this time, with several others from across the United States. A few weeks ago, 12 months later, I returned with twenty-one people, including my five-year-old queen Anusha. 

     Many people have asked, "What is the reason for these trips?" I simply want people to this experience this, especially our youth. Folks have asked what travel agent/agency did I go through to set this up and the answer is none, nor am I doing this as a travel agent. When I traveled the first time I started building relationships with our people there, and it was through this established local network that I began to make these journeys possible. On this most recent journey, it was a collaborative effort; my colleagues from my second trip, Kelly Diane Galloway (Buffalo, NY) and Roderick Adams (Oakland, CA), assisted with the planning, coordination, and its execution. This journey was also captured by videographer/documentarian Dorrell Edwards of Always Timeless Productions who will be producing a documentary about our experience. 

A heard of elephants in the Serengeti
Image: Always Timeless Productions

   From the first time that I went to East Africa, to the most recent journey, I still find it difficult to verbalize this lived experience. Staying on a fully sustainable eco farm which grew fifteen varieties of bananas, I was unable to eat bananas in America for five months. Drinking pure water from a natural mountain stream, not witnessing an argument or fight, eating all organic fruit and vegetables with seeds, sitting with my back to doors without feeling a sense of danger, and being declared an International Ambassador of a Primary School that I visited are just a few things that radicalized me. Sure, there are pockets in America where you can find some of these things, yet that is what I experienced as a standard of normalcy in an environment that sustained it. Everyone looked like me, from the darkest shade of black to the lightest of brown; in their cities and rural areas, in law enforcement, their government, and in every profession within society. In the images of their schoolbooks, on their advertisements, and across television. People were not materialistic and judging one another based upon what they had, or did not have. No one was debating each other's religious or political perspectives. There was not even a sense of violence. To put this into perspective, just last week Anusha asked, "Dad, were there police in Africa?" The fact that she didn't even realize they were there taking up space tells you how different it was to what we experience with law enforcement here in America. That was only one of many insights that my five-year-old, and the other youth who traveled with us, had through this experience. They now know for a fact that certain psychological, physical, social, economic, and environmental living conditions are possible!

Sakila Primary School
Image: Always Timeless Productions

     One of the biggest epiphanies that I had was witnessing how racism and white supremacy has embedded in many of us Black folks in America a deep seeded sense of insecurity and hypervisibility. Most of our people in Tanzania grew up never being scrutinized based upon their so-called race. In fact, many don't even know what "race" or "racism" is. On one occasion I was having a conversation with a few locals about some of the challenges and history of being Black in America and realized that I brought more baggage with me to Africa than I had realized. So, when some of our people come from Africa to America and have no concept of racism, or the historical plight of Black folks here, that is real. Some of our folks from Africa are so oblivious that they think that it does not exist; so they treat Black folks in America like they are incompetent and delusional. Some folks from Africa strive to better understand the concept of racism, or the historical plight of Black folks here in America. Some educated themselves before they came to America, others began to educate themselves once they began to realize that they were put into a Black (people) box. Keep in mind that in America's short 248-year history, this predominately white society legally restricted Black people from participating in it as citizens for 199 years or almost 77% of the time that America has existed. That restricted participation included all areas of people activity from economics, education, entertainment, government/politics, religion, health, sex, and law. This was all because of the color of our skin. Any cultural movement in America by and for Black people to reclaim our cultural identity, to proclaim or beauty and intelligence, to amplify our voice, accomplishments, appearance and to scream that Black lives matter are all responses to being dehumanized, othered and uncentered in a predominately white, historically racist, society. When you are the descendant of a people who have been generationally, intellectually, legally, socioeconomically, emotionally, academically, and physiologically defined as inferior (Black) or superior (white), you either believe it and act accordingly or you fight to not believe it. All of this psychological, social, economic, educational, institutional, legal, and environmental baggage is what we all inherited as Americans, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. All of this, and more, was baggage that I brought with me to Africa. Baggage that many of our brothers and sisters in Africa have never seen or heard of before.

Welcome Reception to Sakila Primary School

     As the International Ambassador of Sakila Primary School, I was able to secure water for the school for the next two-years and our second travel group brought supplies to the staff and students. On our most recent trip we brought more supplies and my colleague Roderick secured sixty computers that we were able to provide for their staff and create a computer lab. Lastly, we unveiled the launch of our Sakila Care Foundation; a non-governmental organization to expand this global initiative. 

     The experience of being in a cultural environment where "hakuna matata" (no worries or there are no troubles) is literally the status quo is both transformative and therapeutic, especially for our children. It is a lived experience that cannot be simulated at a three-day retreat, some professional development training, or hours long YouTube videos. As a Five Percenter, I think that too many of us use the word 'build' as a noun and see it as an object or a thing. That thing is usually just a bunch of talking, gossiping, social media posting, and Youtubing and it rarely goes beyond that. The word 'build' in our language [of Supreme Mathematics] is a verb or a word used to describe an action. So, to 'build' means to show forth and prove our power through some act, direct action, or activity. As a noun it is only potential, yet it is kinetic as a verb. These successful journeys to East Africa helped build an intercontinental bridge across the Atlantic Ocean to connect our people. A connection that enables our people to build beyond "the block" on both shores, especially our children. I am extremely proud to spark this initiative yet even more THANKFUL to those who have joined me to help make this experience possible for themselves and their families. We will be sharing details for our August 2025 trip on social media so stay in tune if you are interested in being a part of this amazing journey!

Peace,

Saladin

Invisible Institutions, Self-Determination, and Black Spaces

 

     When people discuss slavery, one of the things that is often not spoken about is Black folks' coping mechanisms and how we survived. What actions did we take? What did we need to tell ourselves and each other? How did we seek solace amid hell? Some of our survival tactics were individual and other methods required collective work and responsibility. Some enslaved people formed spiritual bodies that historians call an 'invisible institution.' These hidden gatherings took place away from enslavers and oftentimes at night. According to a Brown University Dept. of History article, "Most enslavers, and some state laws, prohibited enslaved people from gathering for religious purposes without white people present. Enslaved people sometimes attended church or religious gatherings with enslavers, and there were some churches led by free black people with enslaved members. But these religious spaces were usually supervised by white people and followed forms of Christianity that white people practiced." The article goes on to state, "Enslaved people also met secretly for their own religious gatherings. They used signals and codewords to call each other to the woods, ravines, swamps, or slave quarters on the edge of a plantation—locations that were sometimes called 'hush harbors'. Enslaved people mixed Christianity with indigenous African traditions involving singing, dancing, clapping, drumming, and spirit worship. In addition to creating a spiritual refuge for themselves, enslaved people sometimes used these gatherings to plan acts of resistance. Not many written sources exist today about the secret gatherings among enslaved people. Historians rely largely on slave narratives written in the nineteenth century and interviews conducted with formerly enslaved people in the early twentieth century for written information about enslaved people’s religious practices." It is through these narratives of enslaved people that we also learn that these invisible institutions served as the African-centered root of Liberation Theology; the interpretation of biblical scripture as resistance against slavery and its social death. In his book A Black Theology of Liberation, Cone explains: "In a society where men are oppressed because they are black, Christian theology must become Black Theology, a theology that is unreservedly identified with the goals of the oppressed community and seeking to interpret the divine character of their struggle for liberation." 

     It was through the establishment of invisible institutions, and the lens of Liberation Theology, that resistance, revolts, rebellions, insurrections, and escapes were planned. It was through the establishment of invisible institutions that survival tactics were forged and coping mechanisms shared to contend with the horrors of slavery. It was also through this establishment of invisible institutions that Black religious, cultural, civic, art, health, social, political, and economic institutions eventually formed away from white people for the purpose of Black solidarity and empowerment. Through each generation of Black people who experienced several generations of slavery in North America, one hundred years of American Apartheid [Segregation], and modern-day systemic racism, it was explicitly and implicitly understood that our liberation required/requires a sense of self-determination; to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves. When you take just a cursory glance at Black movements in America, be it religious, cultural, civic, art, health, social, political, or economic, you will see this common thread of self-determination running throughout each of them. Defining ourselves, naming ourselves, creating for ourselves, and speaking for ourselves away from white people. Invisible Institutions were the soil where the seedlings of Black Liberation Theology were planted, and the flowers of self-determination grew.

 

     When this country was founded, it was the intention of its forefathers to make Black people a permanent servant class based solely on our race. Considering enslaved people being restricted and violently punished for gathering outside of the white gaze of enslavers, Black institutions being historically harassed by white citizens, law enforcement and agent provocateurs to dismantle them, and groups of Black males being classified as gangs, Black self-determination has historically been viewed as dangerous, militant, and a threat to this country's national security. In fact, the intelligence program COINTELPRO was established to surveil, discredit, and disrupt Black groups perceived to be anti-government. Because of this history in America where Black leaders within religious, cultural, civic, art, health, social, political, or economic movements have been openly targeted, demonized, ridiculed, attacked, incarcerated, and murdered for advocating these 'invisible institutions', many Black people today are afraid to follow in our predecessors' footsteps or chart our own course of Black self-determination. Along with that fear, often exists the presence of mistrust. A mistrust and lack of confidence in each other to work it out, and a childlike dependency on others to be present and paternalistically help us, help ourselves. As I shared above, enslaved people were restricted and violently punished for gathering outside of the white gaze of enslavers. This often created a trauma bond with enslavers where enslaved people would form a deep emotional attachment to them, similar to what we see among victims of human trafficking. This attachment between enslavers and the enslaved reinforced a White supremacist and Black inferiority Parent-Child power dynamic. Many enslaved people, formally enslaved people, and we as PTSD descendants of enslaved people, struggled and still struggle with self-determination and having a sense of independence. Because of our historical proximity to white authority parental-like figures, some of us Black folks either fear or mistrust our solidarity and have no confidence in our ability to do things by ourselves. Therefore, some of us Black folks can only see ourselves under the parental authority of white people taking up our space. This is the mental block of having an inferior complex and what Bob Marley meant when he sang, "emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds" in Redemption Song.

     Holding space for someone is the practice of making space for somebody else's experiences and centering them. "Black" summits, conferences, retreats and etc. means to make space for Black people's experiences and centering our voices in those spaces. If there is a Women's Summit, it should hold space for and center the experiences and voices of women. As a man, it is not my place to take up space there or to tell women what they should or should not be doing as women. The same can be said for Jewish, Chinese, Muslim, or even Autoworkers summits, conferences, retreats and etc.; it is not the place for non-Jewish, non-Chinese, non-Muslim, or non-Autoworkers to take up space and inform these community members what they should or should not be doing. 

     When speaking about Women, Jewish, Chinese, Muslim, or even Autoworkers group gatherings, it seems easy to understand how intrusive, inconsiderate, and inappropriate it would be for a non-group member to center themselves in these spaces. When it comes to Black group gatherings, non-group members, and even some Black people, often see nothing wrong with centering non-group members in Black spaces. This "others have to be here" mentality that some of us Black folks have can be traced back to slavery, where we were forbidden to meet without the presence of the enslaver. This mentality bred the presence of generational mistrust that I sometimes find myself confronting, and the lack of confidence in us as Black people to work it out by ourselves. 

     We have never seen Black self-determination or autonomy exist where non-Black people maintain a parental relationship and control the economy, institutions, and resources of Black people. We have never seen women’s self-determination exist where men maintain a parental relationship and control the economy, institutions, and resources of women. We have never seen Indigenous self-determination or autonomy exist where non-Indigenous people maintain a parental relationship and control the economy, institutions, and resources of Indigenous people. We can also see that Palestinian self-determination or autonomy cannot exist where non-Palestinian people maintain a parental relationship and control the economy, institutions, and resources of the Palestinian people. All of these Parent-Child power dynamics are not equitable, and we cannot be independent as a dependent. 

   The historical and modern-day role of invisible institutions set the foundation of self-determination and the ability to hold space for people. All groups of people need access to these spaces, including Black people. It is also important to understand that if we are not a part of a group, we can still show up for and support other people in many ways without making it about ourselves. We can help others find their way, without getting in their way. I've always been an advocate for woman-centered initiatives without taking up space as a man. I've quietly sponsored programs and projects and asked not to be included in the publicity that would take away from the visibility of others. I've also declined financial opportunities to recommend and hold space for others who need to be centered. In the true spirit of equity, I understand that some things are simply not about me, it is not my place to take up space, and that is alright. The more we understand that, the more we can truly support one another. When it is about Black people or any other group that I am a member of, it is equally alright to hold space for and center our experiences and voices. And as Black folks, we must courageous enough to do this without fear, mistrust, an apology, or an explanation, just like other groups of people have historically done and will continue to do. 

Peace,

Saladin

Supreme Mathematics AWARDS to be held in Medina (Brooklyn)

 

   It was announced last week by Seven On Demand via social media that on Thursday, June 6th, 2024 the First Annual Supreme Mathematics Awards will be held in Brooklyn, NY (Medina) to honor Five Percent nation members who are doing extraordinary work to nationally/internationally represent and advance our nation. Also shared was a list of nominees whose names were put forward by an event committee for different award categories. While some shared their excitement for this first-time initiative, others did not.

After reading many of the comments shared on the event post, a common theme that I recognized was a criticism of some of the nominees, the questioning of the nomination guidelines, and the reasons why some people should/should not be nominated. Some people even shared why they themselves should have been nominated and the assumption that some people probably nominated themselves. In response to those queries, the event organizer Lord Jamel, shared that these nominations were put forward by an event committee, not himself, and anyone nominating themselves were disqualified. Still, this explanation did not suffice for those who thought that they belonged on this list. The great thing about this initiative is that it is creating conversation and calling into question a criterion for how we are actually using Supreme Mathematics to positively impact our environment. Far too often some of us use the abstract phrase, "I'm building!" to proclaim that we are working, yet there is no real quantifiable evidence to show and prove that, especially nationally and internationally.

So, what are the criteria? Is it being someone who has lived the culture for fifty-plus years? Is it based on how many people you got to memorize 120? Is it being nationally/internationally successful in a certain industry? Is it how many parliaments and rallies we have attended? Based upon the comments shared on the event post, it was clear that people had different ideas of what the criteria should be. To some, I should not be on that list simply because my name is “Saladin” and they believe that this is a Muslim name, not an Arabic word. To others, you cannot even create a list about positive national/international impact without my name on it in multiple categories. Regardless, I think it is a great opportunity to publicly acknowledge and honor one another and learn about what others are successfully doing to advance our nation and culture. Here is why, and I think we can start by asking ourselves these open-ended questions:

*What are some of the benefits and opportunities that can come for our youth seeing and learning more about our nation members being publicly acknowledged for their positive contributions to our nation, the communities that we live in, and society as a whole?

*How are some of our nation members national/international work in the fields of health, education, media, technology, economics, arts, sports and entertainment helping better prepare our nation for a world twenty, fifty, and even one hundred years from now? 

     If we found ourselves struggling to describe more than ten actual benefits and opportunities for our youth seeing and learning about nation members positive national/international contributions, that is problematic. If it was difficult to quantify how more than twenty nation members around the globe are actually helping to better prepare us for our future, that is also problematic. That lacking in recognizing our nation members is part of the reason for such an Award Show. Lacking this information means that we obviously don't have access to benefits and opportunities that connect us to a global network of excellence. We are also less prepared than we could be for a world twenty, fifty, and even one hundred years from now because we don't really know the folks -and the work that they are doing- to help prepare us. This state of lacking is where many of us are, as adults. Now imagine how disconnected and unprepared our youth are because we are unqualified or ill-equipped to share that knowledge and wisdom with them. Some would argue that it doesn't require a Supreme Mathematics Award Show to address this lacking. Well consider this.

    This is bigger than a popularity contest or giving someone an award so that they can feel good and validated. While there are many Five Percenters who are doing great work locally and possibly regionally, every Five Percenter is not nationally/internationally known for their work. This Award Show sets a professional standard of acknowledgement to honor those whose use of Supreme Mathematics has garnered positive national and international acclaim. Without a platform to publicly acknowledge, learn about, and celebrate this, how would you, and the youth, even know? Some would agree that we should acknowledge and learn about nation members doing great national/international work, yet they don't think that an Award Show is the best way to do it. The only way to show and prove differently is to create the format or medium to do that, not just talk about what we should do. Some would argue that people should not be celebrated for what we should be doing, which is understandable. This is not to award people for what they should be doing. It is to acknowledge and honor our nation members who have done and are doing extraordinary work to nationally/internationally advance our nation in ways that has not been done before. Using Supreme Mathematics to expand their intelligence, develop their talents, and produce contributions that positively impact society nationally and internationally is something that our nation members chose to do, that many do not. That work of our nation members should never be minimized, dismissed, or treated as commonly expected because it is not. Besides, instead of waiting until people are no longer here to acknowledge their work, isn't there a clear benefit in recognizing them as a present resource to our nation in the fields of health, education, media, technology, economics, arts, sports and entertainment while they are actually here?

Palais des Nations (United Nations Office)
Geneva, Switzerland 

   In closing, in my experience the best way to critique anything is by providing tangible solutions, not just talk. Talking against something with nothing to actually offer as an alternative only proves that we are not truly invested in the solution that we claim. If we are that committed to some idea that we think is better, then we should have already invested our finances, resources, and sweat equity in that idea and have it to actually offer folks. If we clearly have not done this, then why do we think others should do it? I don't know about you b.u.t. I am skeptical of a car dealer trying to sell me a car that they never had, not confident in a phone store clerk selling me a phone service plan that they never had, and distrustful of a health and wellness coach selling me superfoods that they never used. If some of you think that there is another format or medium for people to acknowledge, learn about and maybe celebrate the national/international contributions of our nation members, then put the money up and create it. Talk is cheap, when there is no substance behind it. 

The Supreme Mathematics Award Show will be held on June 6th, 2024 at the Polygon BK, 299 Vandervoort Ave. Brooklyn, New York 11211. Doors open at 7pm and tickets are $100 General Admission and $150 VIP. Tickets can be purchased online HERE. This in-person Award Show and Gala will be live-streamed/recorded via Seven on Demand to honor some of the best and brightest minds living mathematics and their contributions to our nation and society as a whole.

Peace,

Saladin