Egghead Jr.

Experts in the Field

We used to be with a woman whom I thought would make an excellent Earth, only to discover our persons to be totally wrong. She suffered from a high-function mental disorder which was not easy to detect at first, because she said a lot of the things we embrace. She spoke against the same things we had issues with. She belonged to a Black activist group that my person highly respected. She was well-versed on several topics. She seemed to be the perfect match for my travels. My persons was convinced that she was going in the same direction, but we were wrong.I will not disgrace her by mentioning her name. That would be inappropriate and besides, subconsciously she does not mean to be so counter productive to our cause. She is very ill and ultimately saw herself to be a failure. The things she mentioned seemed easy to repair at first, given the proper attitude, desire and skill. These things cannot come without want and you cannot give people your skills or your attributes. We learned this through experience. My only regret is that we hadn't found that out sooner.

Mental illness, of this caliber, is not that easy to detect. Most of the time, you hardly suspect it because these people are funny and talented people. My woman was very smart. Witty beyond reproach. She was informed in a lot of areas. Fun to talk to. It is easier to recognize a broken arm, than a broken soul or mind state. Highly-functional mental illness usually occurs amongst highly intellectual types. It wasn't until we lived together, did we began to see her mood swings, and her depressed moments. I began to see that she was a woman who was plagued by inner demons and that her outlook was not the same as mine. She felt trapped and we thought we could rescue her. Become the hero. We didn't do it out of ego, we did it out of love, but the non-acceptance that it was hopeless, was male ego related.We tried to work on that but we began to find out that she was just as witty at maintaining her own debilitating attitude. FOR EVERY REASON I GAVE ON HOW SHE COULD BE SUCCESSFUL, SHE GAVE ME SIX ON HOW SHE COULD FAIL. The more my persons fought to uplift her, the more she found fault with it. She fought to prove me wrong about her praise. If I did things for her, it would be the things which were lacking in the approach that she would focus on. Yet, I wouldn't quit on her. My persons fought hard to find ways to show her that what The Father (Allah) taught us was right and exact ,but she would focus on the odds of it happening or the numbers of people truly doing such things. After years of effort of trying to get her to see, we were thoroughly convinced that ONE ONLY LEARNS WHAT ONE TEACHES SELF: You have to be educatable to be educated. You have to be receptive in order to receive. You have to seek, in order to find. ULTIMATELY, SHE HAS TO LET THE TRUTH IN. ULTIMATELY, THE ONLY SELF IS SAVIOR. My person had to be made to believe that she had to save herself. She has a hole that only the almighty can fill, and she has to exalt that force from with inside her essence outward. Ironically, it was HER EGO THAT GOT IN THE WAY OF HER OWN SALVATION. I had not given up on her, she denied herself. Once I realized this, I recognized that her statements at the beginning were complaints that she was never going to do anything about. That is hard for a "do-something-about it-person" to accept. So I constantly tried to convince her that there are things that can be done, but she believed her ideas more. We strove to give her confidence, but she believed in drinking and wallowing in sorrow more. It is very hard to accept someone "fighting against your love" and blaming you for all their errors.

Looking back on it, we began to see that she spent a lot of time trying to "jump start her heart" a.k.a. pursuing happiness. Looking for things to bring her thrill and joy. Hunting for pleasure, excitement, drama, and surprise! My person only surmises that this was to counteract the misery she felt so often. She wanted prestige (recognition as important or famous) and since knowledge is power, being knowledgeable meant a lot to her. Not in the sense of having knowledge so you can live by what you learned, but in the sense of knowing something about it so you can impress your friends about the things that you know about, so you can seem aware concerning many topics. Notice we said SEEM AWARE. This is very important to note, because the excitement we saw was not because of revelation, but because her curiosity was being fed. Once she had this information, she could talk in various circles intelligently about various subjects and poise many questions. She could be in on several debates. She could get the attention she wants. She could be viewed as smart, intelligent and knowledgeable.The reason for bringing this up is not to throw a former love one under the bus, but to bring out characteristics of the type of person we will call EXPERTS IN THE FIELD {OF KNOWLEDGE OF SELF}. This knowledge was not the same as knowing. Their awareness is awareness of information available, not self realization that comes from applying it. The things one learns by applying the things that one knows is a wholly separate topic than the one discussed here. Her conversations were intellectual discourses. Witticisms. Points of interest. Not principles to fashion ones life by.There are a lot of people out there who can give you information and facts but their attachment to those facts is very superficial. It is not the points that one learns from awareness and experience. It is not felt and lived by. It is just a topic to throw out for debate and discussion. They find information fascinating! They get excited about discussions concerning information, but not how to curb their life to what they know. This requires discipline and they want to be a "free spirit." Negative thoughts oppress them so much of the time, they do not want to spend too much time disciplining themselves to principles; they want do what they feel. THEY GATHER INFORMATION TO BECOME "EXPERTS IN THE FIELD". They are "The Egyptologists who wear a cross around their neck and eat pork chop sandwiches."

Next thing we will hear is that "The reason I'm so Astro Boy-ish or B-ew-ITCH-ish is because my parents were homosexual and I had to overcompensate for it. First of all, nobody makes you do anything, you make your own decisions. Running from or going to extremes like, proving you are smarter than everyone else or more of a woman or man than anyone else because of how your parents are is not the answer and neither is “The Blame Someone Else” game. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE 46 CHROMOSOMES! YOU GET 23 FROM BOTH PARENTS AND IF YOU HAVE LITTLE TO NO CONTACT WITH BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS-- REGARDLESS TO THE DYSFUNCTION-- YOU WILL NEVER SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE PROPER THING TO DO WITH YOUR INHERITED TRAITS. This is not to say that being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is an inherited trait. Quite the contrary, all my studies have led me to conclude that this is a decision based upon strong urges made by the individual. Psychologically, there is an identity crisis that accompanies these urges, and some series of events that polarizes them towards their decision. Anyone who has seen THE COLOR PURPLE or FOR COLORED GIRLS WHO HAVE CONSIDERED SUICIDE WHEN THE RAINBOW IS ENUF can tell that within these dramatizations the authors are supplying you with the type and kind of events which helped to polarize them toward those feelings. Just remember, people like Jeffery Dahmer and Charles Manson also had such polarizing events upon their psyches to match their urges, yet it is an agreed conclusion to look at this as dysfunction and frown upon its adaptation as a way of life. I'm Sure Gregory Hines would rather have his brother Maurice not be gay-- or at least not so flamboyant with it. I'm sure Joan Crawford's daughter would have rather had a mother who knew how to be a better mother. IT IS NOBODY'S RESPONSIBILITY BUT YOUR OWN TO PLAY THE HAND YOU WERE DEALT. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CONSIDER ALL FACTORS AND COME UP WITH THE RIGHT DECISION, no matter how long it takes. You are the sole controller of what you do with the rest of your life, regardless of the circumstance. This view is supported by our lessons. We watch these homosexual parents today adopt children and raise them without a clue of how that will impact on the child's psyche to have gay parents. From where I sit, this practice is wrong. It was fought against for many years in this society, and now it is treated as though if it never happened. As this society and culture of the Devil's civilization "develops" further, it will have practices that do not coincide with our knowledge-- this is to be expected. Many things that will be accepted as "right" in this culture will be savage in ours. You have to decide which side you stand on. You have to decide which culture you embrace. It cannot be a "quasi" type of thing. It either has to be a "Divine culture" and those things of American culture which coincides, or a "Destroy culture" and those things which coincides with that. Yet, far too often we see people of our culture airing out their own personal opinions which are not "shown and proved" by their lessons. It is our scientific responsibility to back up all assertions with the degrees that they may fall under-- that is, unless you say you "Study 120 but are not a part of the Five Percent Nation/ NGE." But then again, why would anyone want to listen to a person who lets you know he/she doesn't subscribe to what you do, but brings up your culture for criticism. This "I'm Only Human" "Embrace your weakness Approach" is totally counter-productive to Self Development as far as our lessons teach.

What is meant by SOLVING THE MYSTERY OF THE 46 CHROMOSOMES AND YOU WILL NEVER SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE PROPER THING TO DO WITH YOUR INHERITED TRAITS, is that it is a family affair. God is a group reality seen through the eyes of an individual and your traits are made through both of your parents-- 23 from your dad and 23 from your mom. Those traits are displayed throughout both families. You got those traits in you. The best way to see what those traits are all about is to do the knowledge on your family lines: You will see both the proper and improper use of such qualities but it will give you some understanding as to why you feel like you do and where those feelings are coming from. It will place you at the pinnacle of what to do in regards to those said qualities and it will have you "better know thyself," because the family is you and you are the family! Just remember, they made their decisions about which direction they were going to take those INHERITED TRAITS and you have to make yours. 46 CHROMOSOMES IS EQUAL TO JUSTICE, MEANING THEY WILL GET A PENALTY OR REWARD FOR THEIR ACTIONS OR USE OF THOSE TRAITS AS YOU WILL GET A PENALTY OR REWARD FOR HOW YOU USE YOURS.To add to this, this woman got as far as the 40th degree in the One to forty. She had only her Actual Facts and Solar facts to complete, yet she did not use the jewels and tools. It was only an intellectual discourse. She went on to become a student of Yoruba (African Secret Society member) culture after that. We are certain that she did not stop there in her search. All of this is just oddities and curiosities to these types of people. They learn this stuff for dinner table discussions. THEY SEEK KNOWLEDGE TO DISPLAY THEMSELVES AS EXPERTS IN THE FIELD like as if they were anthropologist [characteristics and customs of humans] or pursuing anthropomorphic studies[study of the attributes of humans in things], NOT TO GROW OR CHANGE THEIR POINT OF VIEW. That's why, when you hear them build, THEY WILL OFTEN CONTRADICT THE WORDS IN WHICH THEY SPEAK OR THE TOPIC THEY ARE BUILDING ON BECAUSE THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THEY LIVE BY, THEY JUST KNOW OF IT. It's just a conversation to prove how smart they are; academics; an intellectual discourse-- they have no feelings concerning it. It's just a game, like cat and mouse. An experiment. It's questionable whether these kind can ever love anything because they haven't learned to love themselves. They are still struggling with that. But they can't take your advice because in their warped mind they think their smarter or more man or woman than you. It's a challenge to them and to them THEY ARE THE EXPERTS IN THE FIELD OF KNOWLEDGE OF SELF (without the Self Development or constraints or discipline there of), because they know better than anyone else. They're the smartest! They say IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS AND ADVOCATE WRECK LESS ABANDON IN THE GUISE OF FREEDOM. THEY ADVOCATE WILDNESS, WHILE SAYING THAT THEY ARE CIVILIZED because they study 120 but have a different understanding of God than is practiced by us. Nothing could be so ridiculous!

In the case of this woman, when she was under study, if something would go wrong we would say have you tried this or applied this degree and she would always come back with some "extenuating circumstance" [reason for why what we are saying doesn't apply to her situation]. After a while, we began to realize that KNOWLEDGE WAS SOMETHING THAT SHE WORE, NOT APPLIED. Student is not what they are because they never stick to the plan, they have a better idea; often doing what you advise them not to do. I bet she still goes by her own crooked philosophy to this day despite the advise of her therapists or any of the cultural systems she has available to her. That is because SHE IS AN EXPERT IN THE FIELD OF KNOWLEDGE OF SELF, EQUIPPED WITH THE BEST OF CONVERSATIONAL PIECES. That's why we say: "Forget the EXPERTS IN THE FIELD, PICK THE GENUINE ARTICLE. Don't be fooled by the razzle dazzle of cheap imitations...

Peace,
Allah Universal Lord Life Justice Shabazz