Love is Pain - Love Hurts

LOVE, like the word ‘Spiritual’, it’s one of the broadest and most ambiguous terms we use. So People have many different ideas about what Love is and how it functions. People look for Relationships based upon these ideas, form Relationships based upon these ideas, and seek to maintain Relationships based upon these ideas. Regardless what our ideas are about Love, one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is, “Is my idea of Love a sustainable model for Relationships?” In otherwords, “Is my definition of Love built to last?”

Imagine if my Philosophy of Love was, “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”. Since such a Philosophy charts the course of my Life, this means is that in all of my Relationships I approach them seeking and anticipating some painful experience or the opportunity to get hurt. Why would I do this? Because according to my Philosophy, pain/hurt equals Love. This also means that if I’m not experiencing any pain/hurt in a Relationship, it must not be Love. A person who embraces this Philosophy tends to self sabotage good, stable, productive Relationships because it contradicts their Philosophy of Love. So instead of accepting the reality that their Philosophy is wrong, they’d rather destroy the Relationship to make their Philosophy “look” right... Another name for this Philosophy is Masochism, and many of our People who embrace it don’t even realize that the reason their Relationships don’t, won’t, and can’t last is because of this Philosophy. Again, we must ask ourselves, “Is my idea of Love a sustainable model for Relationships?”

There are basically two types of People who embrace this Philosophy:

1.) People who think/believe “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”, yet they still try to get into Relationships with others.
2.) People who think/believe “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”, and they shun Relationships with others because they don’t want to feel pain or be hurt.

Both of these People developed this Philosophy from personally going through or observing mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abusive situations, and thus concluded that abuse (pain/hurt) comes along with the territory and validates Love. The fact that we, as Adults, can cee the obvious illogic and flaws in this Philosophy is an obvious indication that this person experienced/observed and came to this conclusion at very early part of their development: Only someone who’s lacking the cognitive, intellectual, and emotional maturity/ability to cee how illogical and flawed this Philosophy is would come to this kind of conclusion; a child. More often than not, they quietly made this conclusion so long ago that they don’t even recall when they made it –especially if there was severe trauma associated with experiencing/observing that abuse. From that point onward, their lives primarily consist of a series of abusive/self sabotaged Relationships or avoidance of Relationships altogether, as a means to find evidence to support this conclusion they already have: “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”. The only thing sustainable about a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy is the mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse that a person seeks/anticipates. The only thing sustainable about being in a Relationship with someone who has a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy is the mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse you will receive from them, or the mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse you’ll be provoked to give them.

Within The NGE, “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” is obviously not a Philosophy we embrace. It is a complete contradiction to our Perspective of Love, and how Love functions to sustain model Relationships. Through our Cultural Curriculum, here are a few basic points we know and teach about Love:

L: 12th Letter in the Alphabet
First and foremost, the letter ‘L’ is a 90° angle; a Right Angle. There is nothing fundamentally right about Love resulting in pain/hurt. That’s equivalent to saying that mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse is right… Since the #12 is comprised of Knowledge (1) and Wisdom (2), it takes a level of Awareness and Discernment (cognitive, intellectual, and emotional maturity/ability) to recognize that abuse is not Love. Initially, this is their greatest challenge because they haven’t grown to Understand (3) the illogic/flaw in a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy. Just like anyone who ‘commits’ and/or ‘accepts’ abuse in a Relationship, their greatest challenge is recognizing that this is not Love!

The letter ‘L’ also represents the Principle called ‘Love Hell or Right’, and this is exactly the stance we take upon coming in contact with People who embrace a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy; you can either Love Hell (pain/hurt), or Love Right. It’s meant to acknowledge the pain/hurt People may experience in Relationships yet it denies pain/hurt as an integral component or result of what Love ultimately is. A common phrase you’ll hear Gods/Earths express is, “Love is the highest degree of Understanding”, and it’s impossible to understand something, especially Love, when you’re in pain or hurt. If you ever had a toothache, cramps, an earache, death in the family, etc., you ‘understand’ exactly what I mean…

Some Gods/Earths have a misconception that ‘Love Hell or Right’ means one must accept Hell (pain/hurt) as a part of Love, in order for it to be Right. This is untrue and is more of reflection of a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy that they grafted onto our Cultural Worldview. What ‘Love Hell or Right’ does mean is that we must be Aware (1) and Discerning (2) enough to avoid these kinds of Philosophies that entertain the idea that pain/hurt (abuse) is somehow intrinsic to Love. It also means that in Love, we must be willing/able to ‘go through’ any trials and tribulations (Hell) in order to adhere to what’s ultimately Right (“Just and True” 37/1-40). If we aren’t willing/able to avoid these Philosophies and endure trials and tribulations, our Relationships can’t/won’t be Right because we will, without a doubt, experience the same Hellish results as those who embrace these illogical/flawed Philosophies. The Principle of ‘Love Hell or Right’ charges a person with the responsibility of gaining the highest degree of Understanding from any/all experiences, in order to rise above any/all experiences to do what’s ultimately Right (“Just and True” 37/1-40). A person who thinks/believes that “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” is not thinking about the responsibility of Understanding or rising above anything, because according to their Philosophy, Love is equivalent to, not transcendent of, the pain/hurt they may ‘feel’. To them, pain/hurt is as far as Love goes…

At this point it is very important to understand that when one person subscribes to the Principle of ‘Love Hell or Right’ and another person embraces the Philosophy that “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”, it’s impossible for that Relationship to work. While one person will always be striving to gain an Understanding and rise above any/all experiences to do what’s ultimately Right, the other person will be seeking, anticipating, accepting, AND oftentimes manufacturing painful/hurtful experiences -because in their Mind, “If It Ain’t Rough It Ain’t Right”. These are two entirely different Perspectives that can’t be reconciled, and a Relationship like this will not work out. Some of us are under the illusion that we can win a person over who has a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy. So we get into a Relationship or even Marry them and work overtime trying to prove their Philosophy wrong. It never occurs to us that any pain/hurt they ‘feel’, whether true or imagined, our fault or not, will only serve to validate their Philosophy. It also never occurs to us that it’s impossible to avoid ‘feelings’ in a Relationship, which ultimately means, something will always end up being wrong (painful/hurtful). Why? Because a person who thinks/believes “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” comes into a Relationship looking for what’s wrong with it. So what begins as our noble quest to show & prove or even save a person from themselves quickly turns into a life (or lifetime) of perpetual setbacks, misery, and disappointments; similar to a hamster running around in a maze that ALWAYS leads to nowhere… Although those of us who at least have Supreme Mathematics and the Supreme Alphabet have the tools to avoid this dilemma, many of us fail to apply the Principle of ‘Love Hell or Right’ for various reasons. As I stated, deep down inside some of us may really agree with a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy so we accept the abuse. Some of us may really believe that we can change someone, so instead of recognizing their Philosophy “cannot be reformed” (34/1-40), we “give all we have and all within our power” in hopes that one day they’ll cee the light (40/1-40). Giving all we have and all within our power is not wrong in it of itself, it’s just the wrong approach/procedure in this situation because you’re trying to give something to someone who clearly doesn’t want it. As a matter of fact, the consequential pain/hurt you’ll ‘feel’ from their rejection of what you strive to give them only serves the purpose of further validating their Philosophy that “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”…

Justice Jewel (10th) is Love
In our 12 Jewels the 10th Jewel or ‘Justice Jewel’ is Love. When most People consider Justice that don’t consider it’s Relationship to Love. This tells you a lot about how they view Relationships as a whole… Justice being more than rewards and penalties based upon one’s ways & actions. Justice, in part, represents Integrity (Justness), Fairness, Harmony, and Equilibrium (Equality). These are all components of Love, and there is no Integrity (Justness), Fairness, Harmony, and Equilibrium (Equality) in a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy. In order to successfully demonstrate these components, one must be considerate, caring, respectful, honorable, committed, affectionate, sincere, and a host of other qualities in order to reinforce a sense of Justice. Can you imagine going before a Judge who doesn’t possess the components of Justice or the qualities that reinforce it? Do you think you’ll get a fair shake? Well imagine the results of a Relationship with someone who doesn’t possess the components of Justice or the qualities that reinforce it… It’s impossible for a Relationship like this to be Loving and offer someone a fair shake.

Since the Justice Jewel “Love” is ‘10’ or Knowledge (1) Cipher (0), Love is Knowing the importance of the Cipher; Reciprocity. A Relationship is a Cipher, a Bond. In order to maintain that Bond, the components of Justice (Integrity [Justness], Fairness, Harmony, and Equilibrium [Equality]) and the qualities that reinforce it (considerate, caring, respectful, honorable, committed, affectionate, sincere, and etc.) are held together through Reciprocity. Reciprocity is the willingness/ability to complement eachother through mutual, corresponding, interdependent exchanges and interactions that sustain this Bond. To Reciprocate is a process that begins with sharing/giving, not taking! It’s interesting to note that when many People are asked about Love and Relationships, they usually begin by talking about what they want or desire to get from somebody. RARELY do you hear someone begin a conversation about Love and Relationships talking about what they’re willing/able to actually give… It tells you a lot about their ideas concerning Reciprocity, and if they ever even thought about it at all, now doesn’t it? Also, think about what kind of Reciprocity a “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts” Philosophy demonstrates. Would you like to be on the receiving end of that?

Justice functions as a System of checks & balances designed to maintain stability. Therefore, Justice is “Just I Cee Equality”. In a Bond (Relationship), it’s Just “Us”, not you and me, “Us”. This is important to understand because some People may assume that the ‘I’ in Just I Cee Equality is an individual or ‘I’ as in EGO. When it’s about “Us”, not you and me, “We” approach a Relationship realizing that “Our” Bond hinges upon the components of Justice (Integrity [Justness], Fairness, Harmony, and Equilibrium [Equality]) and the qualities that reinforce it (considerate, caring, respectful, honorable, committed, affectionate, sincere, and etc.). In otherwords, we are essentially One (1) and that’s how our Cipher (0) must function in order to keep it together!

In conclusion, these are just “a few” of the many examples, illustrations, and break-downs we learn about Love within our Cultural Curriculum, and I didn’t even go through the many examples, illustrations, and break-downs within 120 Lessons. The point in sharing this was to demonstrate how our Culture possesses various Cultural references that fully explore, expound upon, and define Love, it’s components/qualities, and how it does/doesn’t function. And as we explore, expound upon, and define Love, we examine what adds up and what doesn’t. We consider the validity of such statements like, “Love is Love”, “Love knows no Color”, “Love is how I feel”, “I fell in Love”, “I Love you but I’m not in Love with you”, “Love is Pain”, “Love Hurts”, and of course any other ideas we hear about Love. Make no mistake about it, that it’s a very sick, abnormal, Masochistic Psychology that embraces the Philosophy that “Love is Pain” or “Love Hurts”. Love does not consist of nor is it equivalent to mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse. A person who thinks/believes this is only capable of hurting themselves and causing pain to others. Until they’ve actually critically analyzed the illogic/flaws in such a Philosophy, to cee why it hasn’t/doesn’t work to sustain Relationships, they will continue to hurt themselves and cause pain to others. This doesn’t mean that People like this are somehow diabolical or deliberately out to hurt themselves and cause pain to others. They may be nice, attractive, funny, social, and even high functioning intellectuals who simply embrace a Philosophy about Love, and probably other Philosophies about Life, that ultimately hurts them and causes pain to others. They simply haven’t learned how to Love someone or sustain a Relationship… Keep in Mind that they may have been embracing this Philosophy for the last 25 years, so building with them, investing time with them, talking to them, praying with them, and etc. is not enough to change almost a whole generation of illogical/flawed thinking. This is the reality of what you’re dealing with, not what you hope things to one day be. In our 10/1-40 we learn that “we lost no more time searching for that-that does not exist” in regards to a Mystery God. Well the same thing applies to searching for something that someone doesn’t and cannot cee in themselves. If they ultimately do, it must be under their own power and “in their own 'GOOD' time” (39/1-40) because “Self” is the only “Savior” (‘S’ is the 19th Letter in the Supreme Alphabet). It’s our job to make Knowledge Born about the Principle of ‘Love Hell or Right’, not try to make them, force them, or coerce them to think/believe anything differently, ESPECIALLY someone who, based upon their Philosophy, is fighting against your Love from the door! I know many of us believe that nobody’s hopeless, and I agree. Yet there are People who think/believe they’re hopeless based upon the illogical/flawed Philosophies they embrace. Because of their allegiance to these ideas, they become incorrigible and there’s nothing you can do about it mentally, emotionally, financially and/or physically. There is a lot of “Self” work a person has to do before they’re even willing, let alone capable of, Understanding that “Love IS NOT Pain” or “Love DOES NOT Hurt”. It takes a lot of sacrifice, studiousness and commitment on their part, and up until this point in their Life, you may be the first person who ever showed them anything different. The reality is that once a person has reached their 30’s and above holding fast to an illogical/flawed Philosophy like this, it’s possible yet very rare that they are willing AND capable to make the sacrifice, be studious, and have the commitment to change their Philosophy on Life. If you think/believe otherwise, you’re in for a World of pain/hurt, because that’s what they ultimately believe Love is; pain/hurt. And until they actually think/believe anything different, that’s all you can and will get from them.

Peace,
Saladin