Experiments with High Exposives

The Chronicles of a "Big Headed" Scientist

Below is an excerpt from the Narrative Story "Experiments with High Explosives; The Chronicles of a 'Big Headed' Scientist". This excerpt is from pages 1 through 5 of the First Journal Log Entry (First Chapter) entitled "The Earth is approximately covered..."

     It’s been said that “Love” is the highest degree of Understanding. What’s usually unsaid is the “Hell” you may go through to get it “Right”.

     I met her on a sunny day in late May. It was the kind of cloudless Spring day when the trees seemed to bud overnight and the colorful flowers bloomed with the multilayered fragrances of new life. As the wind blew with a gentle breeze, you could cee the sigh of relief on the faces of winter hostages along the streets of Bethlehem.

     She was wearing a long ankle length gold & green skirt, a gold & green head wrap and a vintage opal ring on her right ring finger. Her bohemian like shirt was gold and she carried a crocheted handbag that matched her shawl and hemp colored sandals. Her complexion was caramelized. She had large almond shaped eyes and carried a sensuous smile that would melt an iceberg. When she walked she gently swayed her hips. Her body language had a sense of regalness and she moved intuitively graceful, slow and deliberate.

“DANG!” I thought to myself. “This Queen is fly!”

     When a Man comes into the Knowledge of himself, his self esteem is off the meter and his confidence is like the first Great Sun that borned the Universe. I wasn’t a Newborn when Queen Divinity came strolling into my life; I had one twenty for over a decade, was refined with my Math and was shining like a seasoned vet in the NBA. B.u.t. regardless of all of that, this Queen had me alittle shook! Her stunningness had me second guessing myself. I ain’t talking about sweatin’ bullets, I’m talking about the split second insecurity of checking your gear, ceeing if there’s food in your teeth and smelling your breath. That split second of insecurity was synonymous with loosing time searching and ‘trillions of years’ ain’t nothing b.u.t. a whole bunch of these seconds.

     Meeting Divinity and the current of air she came in was the first red flag that joggled my Mind. It was the only sign I needed to draw her angle up from the door ‘b.u.t.’ I didn’t and this very ‘b.u.t.’ is what preceded the tumultuous rain, hail, snow and earthquakes I experienced with this Woman. Cee, it’s always ‘the high’ that makes a Man experiment with ‘explosives’ and that illogic made me just like any other John. Laying in my bed thinking about this surah in my Koran, I remembered our first conversation like it was yesterday; I was in downtown Bethlehem, standing on the train platform by the Square and there she was: built like a home in Heaven.

     I did the knowledge on her from a distance as she approached the platform. The closer she got, I lowered my gaze to maintain being the piece. She just knew she was magnetic and I could tell by her air of confidence that she probably knew this for a while. I’d ceen Women who came off with confidence before b.u.t. with her I could tell it was deeper than believing it on face value. I wasn’t sure if Knowledge of Self gave her a shot in the arm, if she was in a Love or just an Afrocentric Feminist. Although I had become quite cynical about the whole ‘Earth being equal to my Home circumference’ idea, these thoughts ran across my Mind. So like all true Scientists, I had to investigate. I had to know for sure.

     When I first got Knowledge of Self I would binge build. I’d build until I was blue in the face -especially when I had a cheerleader on the sidelines. Once a female would cee how obsessed I was with running my mouth she’d quietly help me construct my own pedestal, shape and mold herself into my own image and likeness and stroke my Ego until I thought I was the only Man in the World. It took me years of bumps, blackened eye’s and bruised filled surahs to understand that a pedestal only makes your fall harder.

     I had my first Earth when I was twenty and fresh off of Pluto. She was an eighteen year old understanding seed named ‘Mandeep Desai’. Mandeep was a third generation Indian from Punjab who used to be a Bible thumping Jehovah Witness before I started building with her. She had a clear buttermilk complexion, shapely, petite and a stone cold freak. I had a studio apartment off campus when we first met. One Saturday morning she and her partner stopped by my mini Kingdom to drop off a Watchtower and share the good news. She caught my eye from the door so I invited them in to listen to what I already knew.

     Her partner was a clean shaven, nerdy looking Colored Man wearing coke bottle glasses and a brown high water suit. He was obviously schoolin’ her because she rarely opened up her mouth. Mandeep looked very conservative. She had on a long blue flowery dress, black stockings, black flats and her long black hair pinned up in a bun. Sitting there like a novice, I would give her eye contact every now and then to telegraph my interest in the subject matter; her! After about the third visit only one of ‘em came back to visit me after that. It wasn’t the Colored Man nor was it for Saturday morning Bible Study.

     Mandeep and I got close at a terrific speed and she wanted to have sex damn near three times a day. In between our sex-capades I mustered up the strength to mention Triple Darkness, tell her alittle about The Father and ration her off Supreme Mathematics. I rationalized being her Enlightener her b.u.t. the reality was the sex had me roped and bound in. At times we wouldn’t come outside for days. We’d just lay up my room in a smokey daze, loosing track of time in an opium house-like hedonist high. We both knew she really didn’t want Knowledge of Self. As a matter of fact, I never stopped to ask her. She believed that once she got me in the realm of ‘six’ it was a wrap and that wasn’t far from the truth. I figured that however long it took her to knowledge one twenty, which she wasn’t gonna do, there was no said birth record to the sex I was getting. We had our own agendas and the bedroom was our negotiation table. Aside from the bad break-up with my high school sweetheart I was trying to get over, I chose to deal with Mandeep like that because my loins were burning like the hot Arabian Desert. Deep down inside I wanted to be serious about her b.u.t. I couldn’t. Mandeep would say, “You’re the only one I ever did this with” b.u.t. she was just too good to be true. I knew that if it took me time to get swift with my Lessons it took her time to get swift the Lessons she was teaching me inbetween the sheets.

     Mandeep knew what the science was from the door so she could never really say I took advantage of her or led her in the wrong direction. Unlike some Gods, I came ‘In the name of A.L.L.A.H.’ and made it perfectly clear that I ain’t seriously adding a female on if she didn’t know her Lessons. As far as the sex was concerned…, I taught freedom and didn’t build a prison house. Besides, this female was determined to be successful in her sexual undertakings so who was I to argue with that? Gods ain’t eunuchs.

     That game lasted for about a year until the bottom fell out when Mandeep started to act like a shaky Student Enrollment, ‘Who Shot John?’ Conversation and that Punjabi power u qualified her as a said person of that ability. It took the ingenuity of an escape artist b.u.t. I dropped her like a bad habit when I broke outta the sexual headlock she had me in. A few months after we stopped so-called building Mandeep almost immediately changed her name to ‘Ahdaiyah’ and married this Hebrew I graduated with named ‘Asiel Gavriel’. Getting under a New Man to get over an Old one was one thing, b.u.t. Marriage seemed extreme. And even though I dropped her it still bothered me that she could move on so quick. Of course that brush with a mental death didn’t stop my self delusions b.u.t. it made me alittle more cautious of the games I chose to play.

     I hadn’t ceen Mandeep for several years until we crossed paths at an Alumni Event. When Mandeep saw me pulling up on Campus she lost it. She left her twins in the stroller, dropped her toddler’s hand and ran over to give me this long, uncomfortable, pelvis rubbin’ hug right in front of her Husband. Mandeep’s dissatisfaction was beyond obvious and she was a shadow of her former self. She was about 60 lbs. heavier, locked down with  three babies and gazing up at me with an unaccomplished look in her longing eyes.

     This was the first time I began to really cee how dissatisfaction can born a Devil. This female was boldly trying to holla at me in front of her Family! I began to think to myself, “If she would do this, there is no limitation to what she or People like her might do to change their situation. A ‘determined idea’ is some shit!” Another thing I began to ponder was how Women love to call Men dogs -as if all the Devils on the island of Pelon were ‘manufactured’. The reality is, many of these Devils were ‘womanufactured’ b.u.t. these other rules and regulations were simply too diabolical to mention in that Lesson. There was no doubt in my Mind that Mandeep would have dropped her Family for me that day and all she needed was for me to be a savage in the pursuit of her happiness.

     The day I met Divinity I had games like this outta my system, so I thought. I was fed up with the fake ass sincerity and the mirage covered desert  disguised as the best part. I became indifferent. I was a point in my Koran where all I began to hear was thunder above my head when females opened up their mouth. This is how I felt b.u.t. something about Divinity intrigued me. I knew there was something behind her smile and I had to find out what it was.

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Thanks & Peace!

Saladin