Mental Health in the 21st Century

   I grew up in a household with a DSM-III. Because my Ole Earth was a Social Psychologist she referred to it often. As a child, my younger siblings and I simply knew it as "the big book" among the many other books in our small library. I didn't understand its importance and how my parents orientated us until I got older. I'm not saying that the DSM is the Bible. My Ole Earth once said, "Psychology is the white man's Bible. You need to study everything you can about it." So in my household words and phrases like Transference, Self Mutilation, Schizophrenia and etc. were common place and I developed a working understanding of these concepts at a very early age. Being exposed to this at an early age also means that I was exposed the world of mental health. I recall an incident where my Ole Earth, a Case Manager of a Mental Health Agency at the time, was summoned to a Hospital because a client who suffered from Schizophrenia came to the Hospital with a pair of 24" hedge shears, locked himself in the bathroom and castrated himself because the voice in his head instructed him to do it. I could literally write a book about the experiences my Ole Earth shared with us about her work within the mental health field. In fact, my upbringing and gaining KOS [Knowledge Of Self] is one of the reasons I published the book Explorations of God/Earth Mental Health.

   Why am I mentioning all of this? Because it is my assessment that we are not having enough conversations about how our mental health has been and is impacted living in this society. None of us grow up here unscathed and there are various degrees along a psychological spectrum from folks using healthy coping mechanisms that foster mental stability to outright institutionalized mental illness. People fall somewhere within that spectrum and typically people have not been assessed or clinically diagnosed, especially within black communities where this type of thing is a taboo. Growing up, and even as adults, some of us have always just called uncle so and so, cousin so and so or other families members who displayed and display mental health issues as "crazy." And in regards to the behavior we see, all we often know is; they always been a lil touched, ever since they came back from the Army they ain't been right, they was smoking that sh*t, somebody slipped them a mickey, they ain't been the same since the funeral, ever since they broke up with so and so or a host of other reasons that may hint at a psychotic break or even a deteriorating mental state, yet not a formal assessment of what we're seeing. While people are judged, what you usually don't hear is societal judgement; the quantifiable impact society has upon shaping one's mental state, especially when that impact is an indictment. Among the clinical professions the traditional narrative is that a person's mindset and behavior in society is their own and needs to be addressed. The institutions, laws and cultural norms in this society are often not assessed, held accountable, modified or even removed that helped produce and maintain the very mindset and behavior we see people display. While this perspective of personal responsibility is true. The societal impact on one's psychological state coping with institutional racism, sexism, a chronic scarcity of resources in impoverished communities, redlining and various other social dysfunctions are equally true. So while we are indeed personally responsible for doing something about changing our condition, we are equally responsible for helping change the institutions, laws and cultural norms in this society that continue to shape the mindset and behavior of people. 

   Asili is a Swahili word for nucleus or origin. In order to understand an origin or nucleus we must take an etiological approach. Meaning, we must be dedicated to investigating the cause. In terms of mental health, even though the nucleus or centrally important part is a person's mental state, this mental state is centrally important to their role within their family, community and society. The institutions, laws and cultural norms in this society, good or bad, are the direct result of a person's mental state. There are countless examples of institutions such as Nambla, laws such as slavery and cultural norms that indicate mental instability on the part of those who were involved in creating them and those who maintain(ed) them. In many instances, that mental instability is viewed as standards normalcy. Consider the countless cases of mass shootings where it's not a given but arguable whether the perpetrators were insane. 

   The first step in assessing and addressing mental health is to start making this conversation normal, especially in communities where this is considered taboo. Simply having conversations like this makes it easier and resources more accessible. The next step is broadening this conversation to assesses and address the societal impact upon mental health. Having this conversation also makes it easier and resources more accessible. Lastly, we must commit ourselves to acting upon the things we are discussing, not simply for personal development but also in changing institutions, laws and cultural norms. Be an Advocate! This does not require us to build our own institution, although we can. Simply support those institutions who represent the stability you connect with. It does not mean that we have to run for public office, although we can. Vote for, volunteer and support candidates and legislation that your principles and values align with. 

Peace,
Saladin

How Do Supreme Mathematics Function?

Unpack: To undo or remove the contents from (a box, trunk, etc.). To remove (something) from a container, suitcase, etc.. To unburden, as the mind; reveal. To decipher or discern.

   Sometimes it is not about the baggage we carry. We all carry some kind of baggage. In some instances, we have not unpacked that baggage, that is the issue. What further complicates this is that many of us have never learned how or where to start unpacking that baggage. I am eternally thankful to have had the kind of parents who at least exposed me to this sense of self-analysis and some of the psychological skills to unpack some of the baggage that I've accumulated over the years. I am also grateful for the cultural perspective of the Five Percent and those who have assisted and still assist me along my journey. My family dynamics coupled with knowledge of self has given me an excellent foundation to accurately look at myself, the world around me and my responses to that world.

   I've shared on many occasions that my Ole Earth [Mother] was like the Oracle from The Matrix with a Richard Pryor sense of humor. She went to college in her mid forties and became a Social Psychologist in three years as a wife and mother of seven children. One evening while I sat at the kitchen counter doing my homework and she sat at the table doing her homework she called my name. As I lifted my head to look at her she slowly removed her glasses and lifted up her thick textbook from the table and said, "This is the white man's bible. You better learn everything you can about it." I was a teen at the time and clearly heard what she said yet I was not at a place in my growth and development to understand or appreciate the depth of that statement. In fact, it often took me years to grasp some of the things she shared. Not because I was blind, deaf or dumb, sometimes I just did not have the life experiences as reference points to assess what she was saying. For example, as a preadolescent she would often say, "You have to study their family dynamics" in regards to girls. "You're going to be getting with her whole family so you better know what you're getting into" she would add. THAT went right through one ear and right out the other. Again, not because I was ignant. I just didn't know what to do with that and yeah, I didn't ask. It took me decades to understand the importance of those statements.

   As the Five Percent, unbeknownst to even some of us, we have many self-analysis tools in our cultural chest to start unpacking or discerning who we are. Religions provide some self-analysis tools as well but how many people actually identify and use them? Not many, for various reasons. With all of the problems in this world, and potential solutions, our human family can greatly benefit from such tools. 
   So when I say "tools", what do I mean in regards to the Five Percent? Well one of the most obvious are Supreme Mathematics. As principles of life, Supreme Mathematics are like instruments or psychological and sociological tools that are used to carry out a particular function. What function? Civilization and Righteousness. I say civilization and righteousness because none of the Supreme Mathematics represent or even imply something that is dishonorable, immoral or malevolent. For example, devil is not a principle in Supreme Mathematics. In fact, devil is neither in our Supreme Alphabet. This is to say that as Five Percenters our cultural worldview or what we fundamentally teach is not emphasizing the obvious shortcomings, failings and deficiencies of someone outside of us. We don't overlook that, we explicitly cover shortcomings, failings and deficiencies within the context of our lessons [120]. And these lessons highlight periods of time where learning occurred for our people, sometimes in relationship to shortcomings, failings and deficiencies. In terms of psychological and social orientation, Five Percenters advocate a strength-based approach towards living and assessing who we are. This means that we concentrate on our self-determination and inherent strengths, not what would be considered deficits. This orientation is reflected in our language, with the specific words and phrases we use such as knowledge, wisdom, understanding, "Peace God" and "True I Master Equality [Time]", and even in the righteous names we choose for ourselves such as Divine, Queen, Wisdom, Supreme and etc. Our emphasis is on who we are, and what we need to do as standards of civilization and righteousness, regardless what others choose to do. We don't ignore what others do. For us, it's about what we choose and how we choose to respond to situations, all while maintaining our civilization and righteousness. In fact, here is a series on Supreme Mathematics I've started to 

   The above paragraph doesn't describe a cake walk. It describes a daily effort to be consistent and concise about how we positively see ourselves and how we responsibly attend a society that doesn't have the healthiest view of humanity. Those who seek to address this issue have their approaches, whether its religious, secular, spiritual or metaphysical. As the Five Percent, we have ours. Some approaches or even tools are similar among the human family, some are not. Supreme Mathematics are not witch hunt materials, nor are they inquisition devices. They are life principles that serve as self-analysis tools to start unpacking or discerning who we are. As we grow and understand these principles deeper, we also become a greater resource to those in our family, community and city who need to be rightly guided. The process of unpacking is removing the contents that are within, not putting something inside. Some people incorrectly think that gaining KOS [Knowledge Of Self] is the process of depositing something inside of them. That is part of it, yet one must first assess their available space. Meaning, we must take time to unpack what needs to be unlearned before having a capacity to learn anything. Part of an Educator's responsibility is to assist that person in identifying available space and how to make room to receive something. Sometimes that may mean a referral to a professional. This unpacking process is not something that's done on a weekend retreat, a 3 hour lecture, a few meetings, a rally, an event or a relationship. This is a continual process of assessing ourselves, sometimes with counseling. The custom of building with one another by asking, "How do you see today's mathematics?" and "How do your see today's degree?" is a part of this self assessment process. It's not only done to test or challenge what another Five Percenter knows and understands; because nowadays there are many who claim to be us but they are not. It's done because Five Percenters are scientists of life and building is the oral presentation of one's work/research to other members of our scientific community for peer review. Answering questions such as "How do you see today's mathematics?" and "How do your see today's degree?" give members an opportunity to mutually share their work/research. And just like any scientist, upon review of that work/research, if something needs to be added on or taken away, we go back to the lab and make the appropriate adjustments. In fact, here is a series I started on Supreme Mathematics to demonstrate how these self-analysis tools can be used: Supreme Mathematics Series

   Unpacking our identity or unburdening the mind to decipher or discern who we are requires more than Supreme Mathematics. If we haven't first committed ourselves to honestly assessing and removing the unnecessary contents within, we will be without -even while holding Supreme Mathematics. The same goes for people who hold fast to the bible, koran, other books or philosophies about life. The daily inner work is what manifests the outer reality. All of these tools are only as valuable as our ability to use them. And we cannot successfully use them if we have no room where to put them.

Peace,
Saladin

Jung Money Cash Money Billionaires 

 

When it comes to being “Conscious” and ultimately “Consciousness”, one thing I’ve begun to realize is that many of the ideas we have are set upon Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung foundations. Much of our language, analysis, and descriptions of the phenomenon called Consciousness, are directly from the books of these 19^th Century theorists. Even much of our pedagogy, or method we use to teach about Consciousness, is based solely upon Freudian and Jungian Psychology. The error in this is not because they’re cited. Some of what they taught I agree with. The error lies in the fact that although first world people have been successfully analyzing, articulating, and defining Consciousness for thousands of years before both of these men existed, some of us have not taken the initiative to investigate these classical perspectives before drawing a conclusion on what Consciousness is, isn’t, or even if the word itself is accurate enough to use in order to define this phenomenon.

How we view Consciousness sets the stage for our Cosmology; our creation story and how we perceive the universe came to exist. This is the basis of our Ontology; our sense of beingness, or what it means to be/exist in this universe. Our Ontology paves the way for our Epistemology, how we come to know things, and our Axiology, how we establish our value system. Yet central to all of this ‘ology’, is our fundamental idea of a/the Creator, our relationship to that Creator, and our relationship to the Earth. If we view Consciousness as our brain, this perspective plays a key role in influencing how we process our life experiences. If we view Consciousness as having a Subconscious and equate this with gender (male and/or female), this will likewise influence our values, and how we interact with others. If we view Consciousness as having several different levels, this will likewise influence how we attend this world. How we think influences our way of life.

Carl Jung’s definition of Consciousness is “bringing parts of the collective unconscious into ego awareness. Becoming more aware of the workings of the psyche and the meaning of individuation.” The collective unconscious, according to Jung, is “the realm of the archetypes including the Self. Ancestral memories and religious instinct reside here as well.” In layman’s terms, Jung viewed Consciousness as a process of becoming more aware of the total conscious mind -which consists of discriminating its individual parts. These parts of the conscious mind, according to Jung, are archetypes (inborn pre-formed structures), ideas, memories, instincts, and the Self (guiding center of the psyche or God-image).

You probably have to re-read the above paragraph a couple times if you didn't get it. I wasn't getting it the first time I studied Jung either because it's just plan complicated. Well the key points to keep in mind about Jung's theory are:

1.)  Consciousness is not a state, but a process.
2.) That process is a method to discriminate components of the conscious mind in order to develop as an individual.

Now that you know this, you can see where many people get some of their ideas about components of the conscious mind (i.e. Unconscious, Subconscious, Super Conscious, Magnetic Conscious, and etc.) from, and their quest for individualism (discrimination). It's textbook Jung -with very few, if any, references to first world people's perspective on Consciousness. Again, my concern is not with referencing Jung, it's with using Jung as the authoritarian on Consciousness. Lets take a moment to analyze a few of his quotes to give you a better idea of what I mean.

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain."
     Really? So those of us who buy this believe that unless it's painful, it's not an individual growth and development process. Sounds alittle masochistic to me.

"Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious."
     Here is one of the biggest departures from how first world people generally define Consciousness in comparison to what Jung suggests here. Since the times of Ancient Khemet/Kemet (Egypt) this is what we've taught: ALL is consciousness; undifferentiated matter energy with no variation, vector, or distinction. The term Subconscious or Unconscious is really a misnomer because ESSENTIALLY there is no below (sub), above, or around the ALL. Subconscious is a phrase that only applies in the context of the physical realm, where duality, and the denseness of Consciousness exists. Consciousness, as an essential state, is all encompassing; omnipresent and omniscient. Our physical vehicle, as a three dimensional conduit and lens of Consciousness, only "perceives" and interprets Consciousness as various streams. So ultimately, what people call Subconscious, Unconscious, Super Conscious, Magnetic Conscious, or etc. is actually just ALL Consciousness. Our physical form, as well as time and space, are filters (conduits) of Consciousness. The same way there is relative truth to the denseness and dimensions of the objects around us, in essence, they're ALL one materially (atomically). Consciousness is the same way essentially.

In regards to the term Unconscious the only state that could be considered a dynamic opposite of Consciousness is 'Nothingness' (No-thingness). The negative prefix "un" meaning 'not', as in Unconscious (not Conscious), cannot be the source of, or proceed, Consciousness. Essentially, the only state that is 'not' Consciousness is Nothingness (No-thingness). Since the creation of this universe, everything that was, is, and will be is an aspect of the ALL -there is no undoing that. Regardless what we choose to believe, there is no 366 degrees, or something outside of the ALL (360 degrees). The ALL was first symbolized as a black dot: "O", a cipher/circle. That glyph/concept of completion represents no-thingness, and everything, simultaneously. A cipher/circle is 360 degrees. 3+6+0 = 9, and everything that was, is, and will be goes through a gestation phase,  from no-thingness (O) to something (O), in order to be born complete. That phase is no different than the 9 month process it takes to birth a child. This is also the reasoning behind the glyph/concept "9" being shaped like a spiral, shown to wind around a fixed center point at a continuously increasing or decreasing distance from that point. Therefore, "9" is shaped like a coil circling around that point (black dot; O), or demonstrates the phase from no-thingness (O) to something (O).

Can you see the number "9" within this circular (O) coil?

Again, the error arises when people only critique Consciousness from the vantage point (lens) of their physical form. So because the body serves as a liaison between the intangible (Consciousness) and the tangible (Material World), people only perceive what they call Unconscious (not Conscious). So I would argue that man's task is not about becoming conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious. Our task is to first realize that Consciousness, as an ALL encompassing state, has no below (sub), above, around, or "upward from" it. And everything that our physical form experiences in this material dimension, within these perimeters of time and space, is Consciousness -the ALL- being filtered.
     Now what does this have to do with money? How we view Consciousness directs how we ultimately live, and how we live includes our basic spending habits. Money is what it is and does not equate to an economy. An Economy is the systematic, organized utilization of shared resources that can include money, yet money isn't necessary to have a well functioning Economy. As a matter of fact, Economies have functioned, and still function in some societies, where money didn't/doesn't exist. So the true basis of any Economy is how we relate to each other. It's about relating in a systematic, organized way to share resources in order to sustain each other. This means the people who are working to establish, and maintain, an Economy must share a Collective Consciousness, that Collective Consciousness can be distilled into one practical word: Culture.
     Culture is the sum total of all of our people activities, and these activities are based upon the principles we adhere to, and values we carry. Our Culture is our diet, how we define gender roles, our style of dress, our views on education, the way we rear children and define family units, and etc. Culture either reinforces or undermines the Collective Consciousness we need in order to establish an Economy. One of the main reasons a local Economy is generally absent within black/brown and poor white communities as a whole, across the United States, and in areas abroad, is because we lack a Collective Consciousness, based upon cultural cohesiveness. There are countless examples of people working as a group to empower themselves economically, and this is because they share a cultural basis. They have a common language, heritage, principles, similar experiences, and shared values. These people activities form the cohesiveness necessary to trust, depend upon, and work with one another to preserve, protect, and advance the group. Without this, there is no group reality, sense of community, unified families, or relationships breed division/dysfunction. While many of us are personally looking for money to change our circumstances, we're squandering our cultural capital that will transform our collective condition.
     One of the challenges with black/brown people is the fact that many of us live within societies as a subculture, where our point of view isn't primary, nor the consensus of the dominant society. What this means is that what we're taught about life, including Consciousness, is filtered through the lens of that dominant society. And that dominant society either reflects an American perspective that's only 237 years old, or it's primarily derived from Greco-Roman perspectives that don't exceed 2,650 years. Although there were many positive observations and contributions made during this segment of time, you'd be hard pressed to find them more in abundance then the observations and contributions that first world people shared over the last 200,000 years, When the World Was Black. We must not limit ourselves to 237 years, 2,650 years, or even 200,000 years of observations and contributions. We also must not limit ourselves to the theories, and language of 19th Century Psychologists when Consciousness was well thought out for thousands of years before them, in various geographic locations, by first world people.
     We think how we spend, and this thought process is the basis of our Economy. When we view Consciousness as our ancestors did, as ALL, than we relate to each other collectively -as various manifestations of the ALL. Therefore, we strive to identify with and be sensitive to the common language, heritage, similar experiences, and values we share as one people. As I stated, these people activities form the cohesiveness necessary to trust, depend upon, and work with each other. Wealth is not, and has never been, an individual accomplishment we're led to believe in (i.e. Oprah, Jay Z, Diddy, Tyler Perry, and etc.). It's collective work and responsibility. To believe otherwise only serves to enrich those who know they didn't get wealthy on their own. Oftentimes that wealth is old blood blue money, that's been passed down from family generations. So while we're steady trying to make it on our own, as a solo artist for example, we're being used for a tool, and also as a slave, to make money for family businesses, and corporations, we're not a part of. As far as Consciousness is concerned, YMCMB is really young money. The driving force behind it is really JMCMB: [Carl] Jung Money Cash Money Billionaires. At the end of the day, Carl Jung's ideas about "ego awareness" and "individuation" are some of the central themes that keep the dominant society's well oiled machine called Capitalism going -because many of us buy into it, in more ways than one.

Peace,
Saladin 

Family Dynamics 101

“Study their Family Dynamics” was the response I received from my Ole Earth at the naïve age of 12 -when informing me about what I needed to think about when looking for a girlfriend. As some of you are already aware, she was a Psychologist with a Minor Degree in Sociology, so this type of language wasn’t unfamiliar to my home environment. Phrases like ‘Self Mutilation’, ‘Paranoid Schizophrenic’, and medical conditions like ‘Microcephalic’, ‘Anorexia Nervosa’, etc. were all things I had a basic knowledge of in my pre-teens. When it came to girls, one of the most significant things my Ole Earth taught me, that took me many years to actually begin to understand, was the phrase, “Study their Family Dynamics”. Because I was young, this of course was a very heavy concept to consider. My hormones were already kicking in and all I really cared about is if a girl was pretty or not. Interestingly enough, People my age today, and older, still choose Companions using that Philosophy: All I care about is if he/she looks good! Anyway, slowly over time, and through many trials, errors, and accomplishments, I finally began to get what she meant! Let me break it down…

Family Dynamics
It’s obvious what our physical Family is comprised of: Father, Mother, maybe Siblings, Grandparents, and other kin. The word “Dynamic” is another name for ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence.’ A “Dynamic” is a ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ that motivates or moves something. In this case we’re talking about the various elements within a Family that has had the ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ to motivate or move someone who’s a Member of that Family. When we look at this ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ that motivates/moves People, we are referring to the Principles and Values they learned, or lack thereof, as a child growing up. Family introduces and exposes us to our first Lessons about Relationships. By learning about a person’s upbringing, and the Relationships they had/have with their Family, we learn about some of the most significant influences that helped shape and mold this person into who they are or are not today. When we enter into any kind of Relationship with People be it platonic, business, or significant, we are having a Relationship with their Family’s ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’. Even if this person has chosen to socially cut themselves off from their Family, we are still in a Relationship with their Family’s ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ because their Family Members are still present within their DNA (genotype/phenotype) –which is something they will never escape, even though they may like to. This leads me to my point…

When we study the Dynamics or ‘Power, Forces, Energy, and Influences’ going on within a person’s Family Relationships, we get a better idea of what their inclinations/potential may be if they established a Family Relationship with us. We first learn about the rightness/wrongness of Family and Relationships through the one we were born into. So our willingness/ability to work things out with the Family we were ‘given’ is a good indication of our potential willingness/ability to work things out with the Family we ‘made’ or want to ‘get… This is very important to recognize because our Family is our First ‘Training Unit’ (14/1-14) when it comes to Relationships. This is where we first learn about fairness, cheating, forgiveness, anger, disappointment, sadness, embarrassment, joy, and everything else imaginable when it comes to establishing, building, maintaining, and severing Relationships. How we handled/handle these challenges, with Family Members, who we will be connected to for the rest of our lives, informs others about our skills/tolerance to handle these challenges with others, who we are not obligated to be connected to for the rest of our lives. In other words, if I don’t have the skills to handle my own brother’s attitude, how am I qualified to handle a dude with the same attitude that isn’t my brother, and has no ‘Family’ obligations/ties to me? If I lack the tolerance (endure/sustain) to deal with my own Mother’s behavior, how will I be able to tolerate a female Companion who may demonstrate the same behavior, and has no ‘Family’ obligations/ties to me? If it’s easy to walk away from meeting the challenges/demands our own Family presents us with, then it will be easier to walk away from People who aren’t Family, when they present us with the same challenges/demands...

Studying a person’s Family Dynamics means to examine how a person handled/handles their Family Relationships and what ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ (Principles and Values) is at play in those Relationships. If you’re a male, examine how a female interacts with her Siblings (if she has any) and Parents, especially her Father. Is her Father nothing more than her ATM Machine? Does she talk to him like he is her peer? Does she make sure she introduces a guy she’s interested in to her Father? Does she even know her Father and when she does mention him, does she refer to him as ‘her sperm donor’? The ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ (Principles and Values) that define this Father/Daughter interaction, sets the potential stage for Principles and Values that are likely to express themselves in the male/female Relationships in her life. If a female doesn’t have the skills/tolerance to deal with her own ‘Father’, what makes you think she’ll have the skills/tolerance to deal with you as her Man -who she can easily walk away from? Her Father was the first Man in her life, whether he was there or not, and how she primarily thinks/feels about him being there or not, is very important for you to know. Why? You may one day become this Man; a Father, to the children she has for you, and her thoughts/feelings about you being there or not, has the potential of being passed on, entertained, and embraced by your children. The same Scenario goes for females who’re studying the Family Dynamics of a potential male Companion. How does he talk and interact with his Mother? Does she control his life, and if so, how does he handle it? Does he curse her out when he doesn’t get something he wants? Is his Mother still cleaning up the messes he makes? Does he speaking kindly and respectfully of/to his Mother? Again, the ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ (Principles and Values) that define this Mother/Son interaction sets the potential stage for Principles and Values that are likely to express themselves in the female/male Relationships in his life.

Keep in Mind that this isn’t a death sentence on anyone who has Dysfunctional Family Relationships because we all do in some form or fashion. The question is, “What are we striving to do about resolving our thoughts, feelings, and dealings with these Dysfunctions?” This is an appeal to those of us who tend to overlook the importance of studying Family Dynamics; ours and those of a potential Companion. This is an appeal to those of us who believe we can develop the skills/tolerance (endurance) to handle these issues by simply trying to disconnect ourselves from People who we will be connected to for the rest of our life; Family. This does not mean that we have to sit around and agree with or accept everything our Family does, b.u.t. it does mean that we have to come to some resolution and develop some type of stratagem to handle the reality that we’ll be connected to them for the rest of our lives, and the extended Family (children) that will be born into our Family. If a person doesn’t have the willingness/ability to agree to disagree with their own Family, it’s not likely they’re going to have the willingness/ability to agree to disagree with someone else, an outsider, when presented with the same Perspective/Scenario. So instead of developing a resolution or stratagem, many of us simply cut People off, oftentimes for very petty issues, and it often takes serious or even tragic situations to make us realize this pettiness and bring us back together, even if it’s just temporarily... It’s this lack of resolution or stratagem that People bring with them into a potential Relationship; it’s called baggage. We all have baggage, b.u.t. everyone doesn’t carry it the same way, nor does everyone have the same intention and ability to do something about it.

In conclusion, I want to encourage all of us to keep in Mind that in all Relationships there is always a ‘Dynamic’ at play, and Family is the most fundamental ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ because we are born into it. This Dynamic, Family, is the first ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ that was instrumental in shaping our Principles, Values, and ultimately our Worldview. Even those things that we don’t do, think, feel, or value any longer still represent a ‘Power, Force, Energy, and Influence’ in our life; they are at the root of our considerations of making change (i.e. “I’ll never eat salisbury steak again because…”, “I always choose a guy/girl that looks like that because…”). Our Family is our first Training Unit, whether we were being taught to lie or tell the truth. This is the hand we were dealt, and how we play this hand will tell a lot about our proclivities in playing with others -and how we even perceive the hand they were dealt in life -whether it’s worst, the same, or better than ours. We first learn about the rightness and wrongness of Family and Relationships through the one we were born into. How we work things out with the Family we were ‘given’, is a good indication of our potential to work things out with the Family we ‘made’ or the Family we ‘want’ to make. If you want to judge a Man’s degree of forgiveness, watch his willingness/ability to forgive his own Siblings/Parents. If you want to cee a Woman’s ability to sacrifice, watch how and what she sacrifices for her child(ren), and how she thinks/feels about it. If you want to assess if a male has a basic level of respect for females, watch how he talks about, addresses, and treats the females in his Family. Likewise, if you want to assess if a female has a basic level of respect for males, watch how she talks about, addresses, and treats the males in her Family. If the way he/she chooses to talk about, address, and treat their own Family isn’t good, I wouldn’t have high hopes for them having the skills/tolerance (endurance) to build and maintain a good Family with me. Why? Because it’s questionable where they will actually get the skills/tolerance (endurance) from; they obviously didn’t develop them at home. Even though my Ole Earth said, “Study their Family Dynamics”, I will go a step further in saying, “Study ‘our’ Family Dynamics”. WE ALL BRING something to the table; some things we’d love to be remembered for, and some things we’d probably like to forget. Being aware, honest, and resolute about what WE ALL BRING will mean all the difference in World when it comes to the quality of our Relationships and the integrity of our Family Units.

Peace,
Saladin