Friday, October 23, 2009

Lupa suckling Romulus & Remus

The Romulus Syndrome

Peace Ya’ll! If you look to your right you’ll now cee a New FREE DOWNLOADABLE LINK to my ‘Three Wise Men’ DVD on my sidebar!! A while ago I created the DVD as a Project for my L.I.F.E. Program. It chronicles some of the daily struggles a few of my Students deal with being young black males in the Wilderness of North America. I called it ‘The Three Wise Men’ because I wanted to take a historical theme and put it in an urban contemporary context. I wanted to give people a glimpse of what the possible back story would be like when these Men were children -born and raised in a hostile environment while on their quest to obtain Wisdom. It features Music from my Brother ‘Golden Sun’ and also Classic 1824 Artist 'Living Proofe' (Aru Self)!!

Anyway, in my last couple Articles I’ve been building about some very important sciences in regards to healthy relationships. When I dealt with ‘Love, Hell or Right’, alot of that focused on issues that were specific to Women. Today I wanted to deal with the males, Men and Gods and the dysfunctional relationship with the first Woman in our life; our Ole Earth (Mother).

First and foremost, males are immature Men and all Men are males -to some Degree. What this means is that we all have areas in our lives that we need to mature in, some of us more than others. When I speak of maturity I’m talking about mental, physical, emotional and psychological growth and development. As Men, some of us may be highly mature when it comes to physicality yet very immature mentally. Some Men may be highly mature mentally yet underdeveloped psychologically. Most of us have never been taught that we have these different “layers” (8/1-40) to our Collective Consciousness. So as a whole person, we often go through life as underdeveloped, imbalanced beings. The reality of being God is the synthesis and transcendence of these “layers” (8/1-40). Meaning, when a situation demands a psychological approach, we deal with it in that manner -regardless to how we feel about it. If a situation demands that we “rope and bind” (4/1-14) our emotions in, then we do it -regardless to how we feel about it. This is our ability to synchronize ‘our people activities’ (Culture/way of life) with the higher order Operating System -designed by our Collective Consciousness. This higher order is called ‘Righteousness’; a Universal Corrective Force! Realize that there are many males, Men and also Gods not even thinking about ‘Righteousness’, and their people activities are solely based upon how they feel, believe or think things should/shouldn’t be. It doesn’t mean that these feelings, beliefs or thoughts are absolutely wrong. What this does mean is that their feelings, beliefs or thoughts don’t hinge upon a concept of a higher order Operating System (Righteousness). Consequently, their ideas, behavior, etc. will basically be a hit or miss situation; sometimes they do things appropriately, sometimes they’ll do things inappropriately and THERE ARE NO GUIDELINES to help them determine the difference. In otherwords, the only Rule/Ruler they use to measure things is their personal ideas, feelings, behavior, etc... I’m mentioning all of this to give you the premise of males, Men and Gods so you’ll be able to track our dysfunction.

The higher Operating System called ‘Righteousness’ is the glue that holds our Principles, Values and Priorities together. Right is that which is True and the Truth (Mathematics) always shows things to be Right & Exact. That’s why it’s important to respect that people have a right to be wrong -by putting their own theories to the test! The Truth will be the determining factor. If both of you have an allegiance to the Truth, then the results will always work in both of your best interest anyway! It’s a Win/Win situation, provided that you both really value what’s true! -smile- Many males, Men and Gods aren’t concerned about what’s actually Right, Just or True, they’re concerned about what they want to do, period. Now that we’ve gotten all that outta the way, let’s deal with how this lack of ‘Righteousness’ caused/causes us to “stray away from civilization” so we are “now living a beast life” (2/1-14).

As Original People living in this wilderness of North America, we’ve been “made other than ourselves” (12/1-36) through “eating the wrong foods” (10/1-36). These foods are negative self concepts we’ve adopted that have arrested our mental, physical, emotional and psychological growth and development. As young male children, we have also developed ‘Trust’ issues because we have often been abandoned when we were in our most vulnerable and insecure state! We learned, by impression, the relationship we should have with Women through our Mother. Based upon this relationship -or lack thereof- with our Mother, this sets primary template and first initial guidelines for our future relationships with Women. If there has been any issues with our Mother that has not been resolved, WE WILL bring these issues into every relationship. Our ‘Trust’ issues with Women are based upon some form of mental, physical, emotional and psychological abandonment we may have felt on the part of our Mother. We become the proverbial ‘Romulus’ (of the Romulus & Remus Mythology); one of two feral children who was abandoned by it’s human Mother and suckled by 'Lupa' or 'Lupercalia' (she-wolf) who consequently raised (socialized) the children in a cave. In time, Romulus murdered his brother (Remus) and founded the Hedonistic City called Rome. This Mythology, along with ‘Tarzan’ serve as major Psychodramatic Themes in the lives of us males, Men and Gods who have unresolved issues with our Mother. With Tarzan, because of his abandonment, his sense of isolation, alienation, and insecurity became the driving force behind his "King of the Jungle" (Jungle: entangled growth.) overcompensating, beat my chest mentality. It's also interesting to note that NO WHERE in the story of Yacub (Father of the Devil) does it mention his Mother. However, Yacub's sense of overcompensation (Big Head), being born 'outside' of Mecca, manufacturing the Devil on 'an island' called Pelon/Patmos, etc.. does infer abandonment. As I said, as males, Men and Gods we bring these unresolved issues with our Mother into our relationships with a Woman. Here's a few profiles for you:

The Emotional Train wreck
Because of these issues, sometimes we strive to find the Mother we never had in every Woman we meet! Therefore, we long for her to take care of us, even baby us. Some of us have become ‘Momma Boys’ because our Mother wasn’t there! Although our inner child is longing for this, our outer appearance and growth & development is often in conflict with this longing. Therefore, we may develop a Love/Hate relationship with the Woman we’re in a relationship with. On one hand, we Love her caring and maternal nature we never had, b.u.t. we also Hate the fact that we never really had it from our real Mother. So although we want our Woman to take our Mother’s place, we despise her for trying to take our Mother’s place. It’s a vicious cycle we go through that can be likened to being bi-polar. As a Woman dealing with a male, Man and God like this you’ll find yourself thinking, “He doesn’t know what he really wants!” Why? Because he’s panning back and forth through various emotional states; deep impressions from his Mother that has left an indelible mark upon his young, delicate psyche as a child.

Michael -muthaf*ckin- Myers
Sometimes you’ll find males, Men and Gods who have a conscious/subconscious hatred for females because of his unresolved issues with his Mother. He’s mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive, needs to micromanage his Woman and suffers from vacant/low self esteem. He’s often very competitive with people, very defensive and has the incapacity to Love because there was no ‘Trust’ in his first relationship -with his Mother. He is misogynistic, views Women as objects and has intimacy issues because his vacant/low self esteem makes him feel inadequate. Being in a relationship with a male, Man or God like this is like being in a prison house. He uses transference to project his fears on you and controls you through these fears and guilt. You find yourself knowing that you don’t deserve this abuse b.u.t. also feeling attached to his struggle because you don’t want to ‘abandon’ him. Your unwillingness to so-called ‘abandon’ him is the same abandonment he’s experienced with his Mother that he’s projected at you! In other words, your relationship is nothing more than him expecting you to right his Mother’s wrongs while he’s punishing you for her wrongs at the same time! Since the Moon reflects the light of the Sun, the role he assigns you will invert the same negative concepts he has about himself. Therefore, not only will you began to exhibit the same insecurities, vacant/low self esteem, etc. as him, you’ll be mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically abused when he cee’s this reflected in you. Why? Because you’re a constant reminder of his unresolved issues. If you have a child/children with such a man, the reflection of these unresolved issues grows exponentially. You don’t like what he does b.u.t. you stay because you feel sorry for him.

Goldie (Max Julian)
Another type of male, Man and God that’s born out of situation like this is the one with the Pimp mentality. If his Mother was promiscuous, unstable, a hustler or any other things that has no Integrity, Honesty or sense of Justness, he’ll either not ‘Trust’ females at all or have a very hard time being able to ‘Trust’ them. Ultimately, he’ll have deep seeded issues with intimacy and will only represent half a person in any relationship that he involves himself in. His main objective will be usury -whether it’s financial, sexual, etc. because that’s all he knows; he hasn’t learned how to give. His Mindset is, “I only need a Woman based upon what she can do for me.” He may also appear to have a very close relationship with his Mother which may serve as his psychological confession box. He’ll be willing to take everything he can from a Woman who’s shown him nothing b.u.t. Love, and give the shirt off his back to his Mother who was never there. In his Mind, he feels somewhat responsible for why his Mother abandoned him and still seeks to appease her. This is the type of male, Men and God who believes that, “All Women are bitches and bitches ain’t shit EXCEPT his Mother” -even though his Mother is the model who taught him this impressionable cliche as a child.

"P*ssy ain't got a face!" -The Man Whore
Next we have the ultra-sexual, ‘I’ll stick anything with a hole in it’ type of male, Man and God. This nymphomaniac may have been sexually abused as a child and holds his Mother responsible for what happened to him. Because he lacked the mental, physical, emotional and psychological support from his Mother, he strives to resolve this abandonment by alchemizing these issues into sexual experiences. He also believes that “All Women are bitches and bitches ain’t shit” so his phallus becomes a pleasurable tool of punishment or proverbial flag to stick in the Moon. To him, Women are objects that needs to be conquered and the only way he feels he can conquer them is in the bedroom. The more Women he has sexual encounters with, the greater his Ego becomes, and the closer he feels he becomes to being a Man. Why? Because he is constantly reminded of being a fragile, weak, defenseless child at the whim of a Woman -his Mother- who had the power of life or death over him. Each time he goes inside of a Woman he is symbolically returning to the womb from which he came. He feels the constant need to return to this place because this -he feels- is the origin of his mental, physical, emotional and psychological abandonment. When he realizes that the answer to his inadequacies, insecurities and other negative self concepts are not contained in the sexual act, he seeks out the answer some place else -in another hole. It’s not rare to cee a male, Man and God like this having multiple children all over the place. Women in a relationship with males, Men and Gods like this often wonder why he’s so sexually orientated and why he cheats! The reality is, he feels like he was cheated as a child and his hedonistic outlook on life is, “I don’t give a fuck!” -pun intended.

He wore a Rasberry Baret...
Last we have the abandoned male, Man and God who worships his Mother in his own image and likeness. He may either be metro-sexual, a closet homosexual, bisexual, gay, a cross dresser, transgendered or anything else in order to ‘be the feminine archetype he was deprived as a child’. He may either have a terrible relationship with his Mother or a Worshipful relationship with his Mother. Sometimes his Mother may have abandoned him in order to pursuit a metro-sexual, a closet homosexual, bisexual, lesbian, a cross dressing, transgendered life herself. Whatever the reason for his Mother’s abandonment, what he didn’t get from her is what he tries to become, therefore he’ll never be deprived of this again!

Keep in Mind that all of these profiles hinge upon a primary theme; males, Men and Gods who have unresolved issues of abandonment with their Mother. This abandonment can range in spectrum from his Mother not paying him any attention because she works 2 jobs all the way to her negligent decisions that subjected him to forms of abuse. Whatever the reason for her not being there to nurture, protect and provide for him, this presents him with serious issues on how to deal with Women and maintain a healthy relationship. A lot of these unresolved issues may not be visible to a Woman upon first glance. Some of these issues are often “buried there” (5/1-14) in these males, Men and Gods and they themselves may honestly have no clue why they interpret, attend and behave in the World like they do! Regardless if it’s conscious or unconscious, we bring this dysfunction into our relationship and Women, and she becomes the inheritor, scapegoat and target of these unresolved issues.

Theses unresolved abandonment issues establish the mistrust many males, Men and Gods have for Women. These issues may be compounded when such males, Men and Gods get into a relationship with a female who may/may not have unresolved issues herself -thus not being a help to us b.u.t. a hindrance. Sometimes the only contribution a Woman can make to this dysfunctional relationship is the fact that she’s in it! She can be completely blameless, yet because she can never be what he never got, she’s automatically a problem. Males, Men and Gods who have these unresolved issues will have the incapacity to Love, be Loved or produce the Love that forges a Loving family unit. He has ‘Trust’ issues with himself and others, and since he’s not open to trust it’s impossible to expose himself enough to care and be considerate. If you’re unable to care about somebody and be considerate, it’s impossible to Love, be Loved or produce the Love that forges a Loving family unit. YES, many males, Men and Gods may be able to mimic ‘Trust’ and even Love b.u.t. it has no staying power. In time, you’ll cee that they really have the incapacity to ‘Trust’ and Love authentically and deeply. When will this been clearly visible? The more serious you get in a relationship, because the deeper it gets and the realer it becomes. Some males, Men and Gods know they’re Sprinters. They know they’re not in it for the long haul and really won’t be able to sustain a lasting relationship. So they come out the blocks fast and strong and give all they got for only a 50-100 meter stretch. If he wants to get more outta the relationship without putting in any work he might fake a pulled hamstring or hurt himself on purpose in order to invoke a Woman’s maternal nature. This ‘playing the victim’ ploy is done so she can take care of him. He usually knows his days are numbered b.u.t. it wouldn’t show any Integrity, Honesty or sense of Justness on your part to put a handicap out on the street! LOL I’ve known males, Men and Gods who’ve been able to milk Women for years using this bullshit tactic.

Ultimately, Original People in this wilderness as a whole have some degree of dysfunction or another. When these issues are unresolved, we often enter into relationships based upon mutual insecurities, inadequacies, fear or various other negative self concepts we have adopted AND identify with. Our relationships become nothing more than victims being victimized so we victimize eachother, playing gotcha games and feeding off our insecurities that’s one and the same! The greatest tragedy in such situations are the children who suffer because of this. I deal with and teach youth every day who have no clue how to relate with themselves and definitely not the other gender. These are the future Fathers and Mothers of Civilization and it’s up to us to show them a better way to live. None of us, as Adults, had no “personal” control over the circumstances we were physically born into or much of the socialization impressed upon our young Minds. Many of the ‘Trust’ issues we deal with were “personally” not our fault, yet part of our maturity as beings containing Infinite Collective Consciousness, is to discover positive ways to resolve these issues we still ‘choose’ to carry! In order to even strive for ‘Righteousness’ it’s demanded of us they we “clean ourselves up” (9/1-14) in order to even be amongst the ‘Righteous’ and express our Collective Consciousness that’s not “mixed, diluted or tampered with in any form” (9/1-14). This is of course the map and obviously there’s going to be things in the terrain that pose certain challenges to our mental, physical, emotional and psychological growth and development. This is to say that we strive for perfection yet there will be times when we do things imperfectly! When we do, we must not beat ourselves up -too bad! LOL Yeah we must acknowledge our errors and feel some sense of remorse, shame, admonishment about our actions b.u.t. they’re there so we can learn something. Through these experiences we learn how to strive for perfection from that day forward. Should you be expecting anything less from your Self?! -smile-

To conclude Today’s Article I want to remind these males and Men that when your first relationship -with your Mother- ain’t worked out, you won’t be able to use relationships with other Women to work it out! It’s like having a leaky faucet at your house and believing that fixing ya friends leaky toilet is gonna stop yours from drippin. As for the Gods…, quoting Lessons and calling yourself God so & so will not patch up your unresolved issues you brought into this Culture. More times than not, you’ve just learned a more sophisticated, cunning and beguiling way to mask these unresolved issues with Supreme Mathematics, Supreme Alphabet , and 120. We are charged with the responsibility of “teaching the uncivilized” (18-21/1-40) and the first uncivilized person we need to be building with is ourselves! Regardless of a Woman’s intentions about why she’s striving to build with us and come into this Nation, we’ve got to be an example and show and prove that indeed the Black Man is the true & living God. “Regardless to whom or what” (11/1-14), she has to cee that we have Integrity, are Honest and have a sense of Justness about what we’re saying and how we walk! WE ARE NOT LIKE 95% (85% + 10%) of the males and Men our Women are used to dealing with, and we set the standard of what these male and Men need to become. We hold ourselves to a higher standard and that standard is a higher order called ‘Righteousness’. Not Self Righteousness, b.u.t Righteousness because NO ONE IS EXEMPT from the justice meted out by this Universal Corrective Force.

So with that said, I want to continue encouraging you males, Men and Gods to work on resolving the issues you can recognize and be open to learning about those unresolved issues you may not identify. Some things people may tell us about ourselves may be bullshit -because they’re using transference to project their unresolved issues onto us, b.u.t. some of the observations people have about us are valid, especially if it’s coming from our Woman -who probably knows us on an intimate level better than anyone else! In the final analysis, always keep in Mind that the conditioning process and trans-generational trauma we’ve gone through as a People in this Society has “made us other than ourselves” (12/1-36). Changing our mental, physical, emotional and psychological profile is equivalent to changing our diet and striving to cleanse ourselves from being “taught to eat these wrong foods” (10/1-36); the wrong foods being the negative self concepts we’ve adopted AND ‘choose’ to identify with! As Original Men and Original Women we both bring dysfunctional issues to the table. How well we recognize these issues and strive to resolve them will ultimately define the Integrity and Longevity of our relationships.

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